


Don't Talk About It

by Sharcade



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blood, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Caretaking, Confessions, Crying, Embarrassment, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Description, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mocking, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Punishment, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Secrets, Trauma, Verbal Humiliation, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-08 21:41:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15252606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharcade/pseuds/Sharcade
Summary: Gavin's new partner is stronger than he is. Gavin's new partner is faster than he is. Gavin's new partner is strict.





	1. Chapter 1

"Jeffrey, you fucking serious?"

"Very serious." Captain Fowler insisted, sliding a stack of papers in Gavin's direction. "And I expect you'll take this seriously too."

Gavin squinted slightly, shooting a quick glare at the android that was standing so politely behind him. It looked completely emotionless, completely void, a piece of plastic imitating a human. It made Gavin sick, it made Gavin angry, and there was no way in hell that he would be working with an android partner on this or any case.

"Why not Hank, huh? He already knows how to work with these bastards, why not him?" Gavin snapped, gesturing out of the glass wall at Hank's desk.

Hank was working away, chatting quietly with his own android, who was also working diligently. When RK900 had been sent to the force, everybody had expected that it would mean Connor being sent away. However, as RK900 had helpfully informed, Connor had proven to be valuable in terms of being a good partner. As social functions in detective androids were still something that was being researched and tested, it was thought best that Connor be allowed to continue his work under the circumstances that he was always working with his human partner. Everybody had been relieved. Gavin had been furious.

"You know why not Hank," Fowler spat. "Hank always has to be with Connor."

"This thing's a Connor, why can't he work with this piece of shit?"

"Because it has to be _that_ Connor, Gavin." Fowler snapped, standing up abruptly and fixing Gavin with an icy glare. "Are you done acting like a child?"

"No!" Gavin retorted, quickly realizing what he had said and glaring sharply back at Fowler. "I'm not acting like a child, I just don't wanna work with a fucking plastic."

"Well you're going to." Fowler insisted, sitting back down. "The file's on your terminal. Go."

Gavin could feel himself boiling over, he was being spoken to as if he were a child, he was being demeaned, and he could feel that new douchebag android's eyes judging him. Mocking him. It pissed him off. He could feel his hands shaking with rage for a moment before he finally settled for swiping the papers from Fowler's desk, angrily tucking them into his jacket as he stormed out of the room. This was complete and utter bullshit, Gavin was sure of that much, and he wasn't about to cooperate with a robotic toy.

He let out a sharp grunt of rage as he hurried out of Fowler's office, slamming the door behind him so hard that he thought for a moment it might shatter the glass. He was pissed, and he wanted that to be known. If he failed this case, if this impacted his career, it would be that damn android's fault. Gavin threw himself down in his desk chair, dropping the case file on his desk and folding his arms huffily. He wasn't acting like a child, he was acting  _reasonable,_ at least in his own mind.

"Detective Reed."

Gavin was startled out of his fury by the voice of that android, that goddamn android, the android who was currently looming over his desk like a totem pole. Gavin honestly found it mildly intimidating, though he wouldn't be one to admit that.

"The fuck do you want?"

"I believe we should get started on this case promptly. I have a list of suspects that you may find to be a good starting point."

"I don't wanna see your fuckin' list of suspects." Gavin retorted quietly, booting up his terminal. "Go sit over there like a good little roomba and stay the fuck out of my business."

RK900 gave him a look, one Gavin could only describe as  _icy_ , and with little protest, sat down in the desk across from Gavin's. Gavin tried his best to pay him no mind, perusing his files quickly. He was by no means a bad detective: One of the best at the precinct, actually. He was efficient, he worked hard, he stayed late and always closed his cases up neatly and properly. His downfall was his social game.

"I believe we should-"

"I don't care what you think." Gavin interrupted, opening a few more files as he dug through his new set of evidence.

RK900 flinched slightly, squinting and offering a curt nod as he resumed working quietly. He looked annoyed, and again, Gavin couldn't care less. He had a job to do, he had a career to advance. This new Connor meant nothing to him, and wasn't nearly as fun to mess with as the original Connor was regardless.

"Detective Reed," RK900 spoke again, his voice more stern this time around. "I think it would be best if-"

"I already told you I-"

" _If you stopped interrupting me._ " RK900 stated pointedly, shooting Gavin a glower as he stood up. "I am aware of your difficult behaviour and I've been tasked with keeping you in line. If you do not act in accordance with the orders given by Captain Fowler, I will have to instigate disciplinary measures."

"Oh yeah?" Gavin smirked, leaning back and folding his arms. " _Disciplinary measures?_ Like what, tough guy?"

RK900 stared down at the detective, his expression calm but chillingly cold. Gavin suddenly felt uncomfortable, he felt like RK900's eyes were locked on him in a way he didn't like. He was genuinely beginning to measure what  _disciplinary measures_ might entail now.

"Corrective punishment." RK900 stated, leaning over his own desk and lowering his voice as he spoke to Gavin. "To keep your behaviour in check. I recommend progressing through the investigation as a team."

"I'm not fucking working with you." Gavin argued, sitting back up and putting his hands on his desk. "I'm a human, you're a fuckin' machine, and I'm not gonna help you take even more human jobs. I want a human partner. We work hard for this shit and you're just built and thrown right in."

RK900's eyes searched Gavin for a moment before the android sighed, grabbing Gavin by the wrist and yanking him to his feet. Gavin startled slightly, surprised by the firmness of RK900's grip as the android dragged him along towards the interrogation room. Gavin staggered, digging his heels into the tile and yanking at his arm as RK900 pulled him forward.

"Let go of me, you dense fuck!" Gavin snapped, RK900's grip tightening as a few detectives spared Gavin a passing glance.

Nobody stepped in to intervene, why would they? Any punishment Gavin could be receiving was probably well deserved, or at least that's how things played out in their minds. Admittedly, Gavin couldn't say he had always been the nicest, but he liked to think that he was at least tolerated by a few of his colleagues. He and Chris always worked well together, so he had to admit he was a little annoyed by the lack of intervention at his potential peril.

Gavin jerked slightly as he was shoved into the interrogation room, RK900 slamming the door behind them and locking it effectively. Gavin didn't like this, he didn't feel safe, something about whatever this punishment was just wasn't sitting well with him. This wasn't professional punishment, this was beginning to feel like it may be  _physical_ punishment, and if Gavin could grasp one thing about androids, it was that they were merciless and strong.

"What are you-" Gavin started, almost instantly cut off as RK900 slammed him down on the table, firmly cuffing his wrists to the intended iron holds. 

"Corrective punishment." RK900 repeated, Gavin paling as he suddenly felt his pants ripped down to his ankles.

He couldn't have expected what happened next.

The pain made Gavin's vision go white for a moment, his throat tightening as he was suddenly too winded to scream. RK900 was fucking him. He stated it in his mind just as bluntly as it felt in his body,  _RK900 was fucking him and it hurt._  He knew his skin had ripped, he could feel blood - surprisingly, he  _hoped_ it was blood - running down his inner thighs, RK900 thrusting into him roughly and quickly in a way Gavin knew was intentional, RK900 was trying to hurt him, RK900 was trying to punish him.

He felt sick, pain overwhelming him as his legs threatened to give out, his body begging him for some kind of escape as his mind frantically tried to process what he was supposed to to now. 

"G-Get the fuck out of me!" Gavin cried out, desperately trying to come to his senses as he yanked violently at his restraints. "It hurts, s-stop!"

"Asserting dominance is one of the best ways to instigate compliance." RK900 informed calmly, digging his nails into Gavin's hips as he continued, not daring to show a shred of guilt.

"I-I'll listen, I'll work with you, just stop!" Gavin begged, surprised by the cracks in his own voice.

His hands were shaking, tears were rising to his eyes as his nails dug into the table, his chest rising as falling so hard and fast that it was painful. It was like being penetrated by  _knives,_ RK900 was doing all he could do make this painful, painful and humiliating and  _punishing_ for Gavin, it was burning, it was burning so badly, he felt like he was going to vomit.

And then he did.

The pain was too overwhelming, the  _disgust_ was too overwhelming, and before Gavin knew what was happening, the nausea had caught up with him. He vomited on the table in front of him, coughing and gasping for breath as the disgust only seemed to amplify. RK900 wasn't stopping, he wanted him to  _stop_ , he wanted  _everything to stop._ His chest hurt, his stomach hurt, his throat was burning, his vision was cloudy with tears that were pouring down his face and his legs were shaking so badly he thought he'd collapse.

Gavin wondered if he even could collapse with RK900's nails digging into him so tightly. He wondered if RK900's nails were drawing blood. He wondered why Fowler would have assigned him to this case, he wondered if Connor had ever tried to  _punish_ Hank, he wondered how much longer this would last, he wondered if RK900 would kill him when he was done. 

He hoped so.

"Oh, you threw up." RK900 noted, eyeing Gavin's vomit on the table for a moment before resuming his speedy process. "That's highly unfortunate, we'll clean that up after."

Gavin couldn't find any words to respond with, only letting out a breathy whine as dialogue failed him. His stomach was lurching, he couldn't stand anymore, it hurt so badly,  _he couldn't stand anymore._ He felt his legs give out as he dropped, only to be caught in a moment's notice by RK900's burrowing nails. Gavin felt like he had been infected, like a sickness was digging into him, like RK900's smooth hands were branding him.

"You should have behaved," RK900 chastised, reaching a free hand forward and tangling his fingers in Gavin's hair before yanking Gavin's head back sharply. "Good detectives work well with their partners and don't run their mouths."

"I-I'm sorry," Gavin gasped out, his throat aching. "I'm sorry, I-I'll behave."

"I know you will." RK900 stated, dropping Gavin's head soundly on the table and pulling out.

He zipped up his pants quietly, straightening out his blazer and eyeing Gavin with a level of judgement and disgust that Gavin could feel in his very skin. His body was trembling, his lower half having collapsed to the ground without RK900 to hold it up, his face panting against the vomit-stained table as RK900 walked around him to get face to face with the detective.

"How are you feeling, Detective Reed?" he inquired, leaning down and raising an eyebrow.

Gavin panted softly, words failing him. His throat hurt too much to speak. He felt violated. He felt punished.

"I trust you'll behave." RK900 decided after a moment's pause, unshackling Gavin and allowing the detective to collapse fully onto the floor. "However, you'll need to get washed up while I wash the table. Your reputation would likely suffer from colleagues seeing you in such a state."

Gavin wanted to scream. He wanted to run to Fowler, to Hank, to Chris, to  _anybody_ who might listen to his story. They were  _police_ for fuck's sake, how had this happened in their own precinct? That being said, at the same time, he wanted nothing more than to die on the floor right there and never be found. Shakily, he lifted himself to his knees, sharp pain radiating through his body as he struggled to his unsteady feet.

"Oh, and Detective Reed?"

Gavin's eyes moved up to meet RK900's hesitantly. The android's expression darkened slightly in the doorway.

"I recommend that for once in your career,  _don't talk about it._ "

Gavin swallowed thickly and nodded. RK900 returned the nod curtly and exited the room. His hands trembling, Gavin pulled his pants back up, following RK900's lead and exiting the room. He crossed the hall, moving straight to the bathroom and rushing inside. Quietly, he surveyed the area, making sure nobody else was there before silently locking himself in the stall.

For the first time in years, Gavin let himself cry.


	2. Chapter 2

The water would wash it away.

That's what Gavin told himself, all he had to do was clean up and he could forget all about this. He splashed cold water in his face, staring at himself in the mirror and breathing quietly. He was pale, deathly pale, and his hands were trembling in a way that he could only label as  _disconcerting._  He had to go back to his desk. He would have to walk back out into the bullpen and sit at his desk like nothing had happened, he would have to collaborate with RK900 and solve the case he had been given, what else was he supposed to do?

He swallowed hard.

Gavin's eyes were red, his hair was messy, and his face was swollen from crying. His knees were still threatening to buckle, his own weight suddenly proving to be too much for him. His inner thighs were still sticky with blood, something that made him want to vomit again. He felt sick,  _deeply_ sick, he felt like his blood was boiling him from the inside out. He felt like he needed to tell somebody, he  _had_ to tell somebody, but he knew that it wasn't an option. If he caused too big an issue over this, it could cost him his job. It could cost him his reputation, it could cost him his credibility. He had worked too hard, he had spent too many sleepless nights going through case files and studying law and paying off school to let everything slip away from him now, it just wasn't an option.

"Detective Reed?"

Gavin startled slightly, practically staggering over his own feet as he quickly turned towards the door, his heart rate jumping slightly. Connor, it was Connor, Hank's Connor. For some reason, his heart couldn't seem to relax, something about Connor was causing him to shake in a way he didn't like, in a way that made him feel pitiful. He hated feeling pitiful, he hated being seen as anything less than somebody who could stand completely on his own. Connor looked genuinely curious and concerned and that only made Gavin angrier, it only made his jitters worse, it only made him want to curl up and die all that much more. What was he supposed to say now?

"Are you alright? You don't look well." Connor asked cautiously, eyeing Gavin.

Connor's eyes weren't icy. Connor's eyes were dark, they were warm, they were more human. It wasn't Connor's eyes that gave Gavin chills, it was his voice, it was his face. It was a face that looked far too much like RK900's for Gavin to let himself rest at ease. However, Connor's expression was different, it was one that made Gavin want to melt into his arms,  _if only it was just on a different face._

"Fuck off, tin can." Gavin replied quickly, turning back to the mirror and staring himself down. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Connor pressed, taking a cautious step forward. "If you're ill, I could provide medical assistance."

"Don't touch me!" Gavin snapped, jerking back momentarily before slowing.

The expression on Connor's face was different now, it was one of surprise more than anything. He had surprised Connor by jolting away from his touch like that. Connor looked cautious now, his lips pursed as he looked over Gavin for some kind of answer. It made Gavin uncomfortable, he felt like Connor's gaze was peeling away at him, he felt exposed and he didn't like it.

"Detective Reed," Connor started after a moment's pause, his eyes flickering between Gavin and the floor. "Are you bleeding?"

Gavin felt a breath catch in his throat. He had been too hasty to get somewhere private, he hadn't even  _considered_ that the blood might stain his jeans. Connor would figure him out, it wouldn't be hard, not for a detective, not for an android.  Gavin suddenly felt like everything was closing in on him, pressure and anxiety felt like they were crushing his chest in as his hands shook, his breathing suddenly feeling too fast and too tight, he couldn't even comprehend what was happening until Connor was right in front of him, carefully guiding the detective to lean against the sink.

"Detective Reed," he spoke, his voice calm and yet somehow equally urgent. "Would you like me to contact medical personnel?"

"D-Don't." Gavin insisted quickly, trying to gain some control over himself, barely understanding why he was suddenly  _panicking._

It felt like his entire body was crumpling, everything had suddenly overwhelmed him at once and he felt sick again, moving a trembling hand up to cover his mouth just in case.

"Are you going to be sick?"

Gavin shook his head slightly, backing up against the sink as he tried to fight off the thoughts of unwarranted panic. Connor was going to figure it out, why did that scare him so much? Why was he so terrified of Connor knowing? It wasn't his fault, there was no way it had been his fault, it was RK900's fault.

Unless it wasn't.

Gavin's thoughts practically pulsed with memories of his own misbehaviour, he had brought this on himself, hadn't he? He had been arrogant, he had been snarky, he had acted like a child and he had been punished accordingly. He had brought this on himself, and now he was suffering for it.

"Detective Reed, I need you to tell me what's happening so that I can help you." Connor insisted tentatively, looking Gavin in the eyes.

Gavin focused on his eyes. If he kept looking at Connor's eyes, his mind could tune out the rest of Connor's face. Connor's eyes were dark. Connor's eyes were sympathetic. Connor's eyes were not RK900's eyes, and Connor wasn't going to hurt him. He wanted to tell Connor. He couldn't explain  _why_ he wanted to tell Connor, but something about the android made him feel like his secret would probably be safe. That being said, he had been nothing but cruel to Connor since their meeting. It wouldn't shock him if Connor decided to air some dirty laundry for revenge.

"I told you to leave me the fuck alone." he threatened breathily, his mouth moving faster than his mind as his insults piled up. "Get the fuck outta here, go back to your desk with your little fuckin' boyfriend, and get outta my face."

Connor seemed to flinch slightly, his brow furrowing as his LED momentarily blinked into yellow. Gavin couldn't pin down exactly which of his insults had struck a chord with the android, but judging by Connor's subtle reactions, it was definitely one of them. Connor was quiet for a moment before finally sighing, taking a step back from Gavin.

"Detective," he began. "For your comfort, I won't press this issue any further, but if the situation worsens and you would like me to contact a medical professional, let me know."

"Fuck off."

"Understood." Connor replied curtly, quietly leading himself out of the bathroom.

Gavin took a deep breath, swallowing as he tried to steady himself. He could barely process what had just happened, it had all come over him so quickly, just sheer overwhelming  _stress_ that he couldn't possibly get a hold on. His head hurt, his chest hurt, his  _ass_ hurt, and his hips hurt more than anything. His body was exhausted and spent, and he could feel every single scratch and cut and bruise that RK900 had left on him so vividly he thought it might kill him. Each perfectly groomed nail, each smooth finger coiled tightly around his wrist. RK900 was physically perfect in every way, his grip was firm and commanding, and it made Gavin feel sick. RK900's expression was cold, it was calculating, it was symmetrical and flawless, it was emotionless and void, and  _it made Gavin feel sick._

He knew he couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. He didn't want to know what might happen if he stayed in the bathroom forever. Would that could as misbehaving, would he be punished for that? He felt himself growing shaky as both options seemed to end in peril, if he left the bathroom, he would be tasked with sitting across from RK900 and quietly pretending nothing had happened, a fate that sounded surprisingly painful. Otherwise, he could stay in the bathroom and risk another  _corrective punishment._ His pulse quickened slightly at the thought of another corrective punishment.

If he made a big fuss about his partner again, Gavin could risk losing his job. He couldn't lose his job, he had worked  _so hard_ for this, he had  _dreamed_ of this since he was a kid, he couldn't let it all slip away from him now. Gavin had clawed his way up the ranks, stepping on as many toes as he had to so that he could get to where he was, and he was damn well still clawing. If he let himself fall now, he might never be able to climb back up again. Great, another stress to consider, the fact that he may lose his job over a series of stupid mistakes. He brought his hands to his face, breathing shakily against his palms as he tried to stay focused. He needed to consider what he was going to do  _right now._

Right now, he wanted some painkillers. Right now, he wanted to go home. Right now, he wanted to go back and undo everything that had happened this morning, all of the millions of ways he could have prevented it. If he hadn't come to work today, if he hadn't complained about having to work with RK900, if he hadn't acted out, if he hadn't taken the case, so many different steps along the way where he could have caught himself, where he could have  _saved_ himself, it was eating him up from the inside out. He needed somebody, he needed somebody to  _listen_ , somebody he could trust, somebody who wouldn't turn against him despite his defensive attitude, somebody who wouldn't turn against him despite his  _fear._

"Detective Reed?"

Gavin tensed.

"I know you told me to fuck off," Connor started tepidly, raising a hand to show his innocent intent. "But I thought you would probably want these."

Connor approached carefully, staying a few feet from Gavin as he slowly set down a set of spare clothes on the bathroom counter. Connor had brought him new clothes. Gavin had told him to fuck off, insulted him, belittled him, and Connor had brought him new clothes. He wondered if he should feel guilty. He wondered if he  _did_ feel guilty.

"I can take your current clothing and have it washed for you if you'd like." Connor offered, setting a pristine bottle of water down next to his neatly folded laundry. "I also brought you water, I thought it might help you to calm your nerves slightly."

Gavin stared on at the android, his expression blank and searching. He didn't know how he was supposed to respond to such unwarranted kindness. 

"..Th-Thanks." he mumbled quietly, his mind racing, allowing only a word to slip through him.

Connor gave a curt nod, and without another word, exited the bathroom.


	3. Chapter 3

"The fuck were you doing in the bathroom?"

"I witnessed something odd," Connor mused, sitting back down at his desk. "I wanted to investigate."

"Find anything interesting?" Hank inquired, barely glancing up from his terminal.

"Detective Reed was there." Connor explained. "He was acting strangely, but he didn't want me to get involved, so I did not."

Connor wasn't sure how much he should actually share. He thought he may have a fairly decent idea of what had happened, but until he knew for certain, he didn't want to give Hank any wrong ideas or spread any info that Gavin didn't want spread. Connor had never seen Gavin in such a state before, he had never seen Gavin looking genuinely shaken. It was unsettling in a way, and Connor wanted to do whatever he could to help ease whatever stress Gavin was feeling right now.

His eyes drifted towards the bathroom door as it swung open, Gavin briskly walking out and proceeding to his desk. Connor noted everything he could: Gavin's light limp in both legs indicated that he was probably experiencing pain in the hips. Gavin was keeping his head down and walking quickly, signifying he didn't want to attract too much attention, and his arms were crossed, making him seem fairly closed off.

Connor furrowed his brow as he logged his newly discovered details, still keeping his eyes on Gavin. The detective sat down at his desk, a decent amount of pain showing on his face as he eased himself into his chair. RK900 was well at work, not seeming to care about the status of his partner. Connor was a little annoyed by that, but he let it slide for the time being, returning his focus strictly to Gavin. Gavin hadn't seemed to have even turned his terminal on, simply staring down at his desk, seemingly lost deep in thought.

"What's got you so fuckin' distracted?" Hank yawned, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

"Detective Reed." Connor mumbled, keeping his focused squared. "He's still behaving strangely."

Hank raised an eyebrow, follow Connor's eyes to where Gavin was still staring down at his desk, pale. Connor couldn't quite make out the exact words, but RK900 spoke, and Gavin spoke back timidly. They fell into silence once again, Hank and Connor still watching. Gavin still hadn't activated his terminal. Connor had never seem Gavin at his desk at not working, Gavin was  _always_ working, it was something Connor found admirable about him.

Something was definitely going on with Gavin, Connor could figure out that much. He watched the partnership exchange a few words once again, RK900 looking away from his terminal to instead look at Gavin. Gavin flinched, his words coming faster and more frantic as RK900's expression slowly transitioned into a glower. Connor almost stood, feeling a sudden innate urge to get Gavin away from danger, something about the situation seemed unsafe.

Gavin's hands were shaking badly, Connor could note that, and after a few words from RK900, Gavin seemed to go silent. RK900 resumed working, and with his trembling hands, Gavin turned on his terminal. Connor continued to observe, this entire scenario was making him uneasy. RK900 spoke again. Gavin replied.

"Are you watching?" Connor mumbled quietly.

"Damn right, what the hell's goin' on over there?" Hank replied, leaning in to see closer.

Suddenly, RK900's eyes snapped up, locking with Connor's in a way that made him startle so hard he practically fell out of his desk chair. RK900 almost instantly looked back towards Gavin, saying something that Gavin began responding to incredibly quickly. Connor watched tensely as RK900 stood, Gavin's eyes flickering between Connor and RK900 as RK900 grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him towards the interrogation room.

Connor wanted to get up and pursue them, the situation felt dangerous, but he had strictly stated to Gavin that he wouldn't get involved. He wanted to help, he wanted to protect Gavin from whatever was going on, he couldn't explain why, it just felt like he was supposed to. 

"You okay kid?" Hank inquired, watching as Gavin was pulled along effortlessly.

"I have a bad feeling about all of this." Connor confessed, his eyes following Gavin until he was well out of sight.

"Me too." Hank assured, nodding slightly before turning to Connor. "What do you wanna do?"

"I'm not sure, I told Gavin I would not get involved." Connor sighed, glancing over at Gavin's empty desk. "Though I feel as though it may be necessary at this point."

"Well we don't exactly know what's goin' on yet."

Connor knew. At least, he was fairly certain that he knew. Gavin's behaviour and appearance could only really lead to one realistic conclusion, as much as Connor didn't want to believe it. Likewise, it concerned him what might happen if people started to fear Connor models over this. He would probably be discontinued as a partner for the safety of the precinct. 

"Lieutenant," Connor started after a moment's pause. "You know that I would never do anything to cause you physical or psychological discomfort, correct?"

"'Course, why?"

"Just making sure."

* * *

"I told you not to talk about it."

"I-I didn't! I didn't talk about it!" Gavin pleaded, violently jerking his arm away from RK900, only to have it grabbed again. "I didn't tell him anything, I-I told him to fuck off!"

"I knew I shouldn't have left you alone in the bathroom."

"I didn't do anything!"

"I won't tolerate disobedience." RK900 stated simply, pinning Gavin down on the table once again. "I made it very clear what would happen if you continued to misbehave."

" _I didn't fucking do anything!"_ Gavin cried, continuing to struggle as RK900 locked his wrists down on the table.

"Hold still please, Detective."

* * *

"He's been gone for a while." Connor mentioned quietly, typing away on his terminal as doubt coursed through him. "We should go check on them."

"It's none of our business," Hank sighed, glancing up at the android. "Try not to think about it."

"I'm having trouble remaining ignorant."

"You're worried about  _Gavin?"_

"He is by no means a friend, but he is still a colleague." Connor explained, pursing his lips slightly in pause. "I feel as though the situation requires intervention."

"We'll see what happens when they get back, alright?"

"...Alright."

* * *

Gavin could barely register any of the thoughts in his mind, pain and the throbbing of RK900's dull methodical thrusting being the only thing he truly registered. RK900 was mad at him, mad at him for something he hadn't even done, something he had only  _thought_ of doing. It hurt, it hurt badly, he just wanted to undo today, he just wanted to curl up and die. His entire body was weak and used and in pain, and all he wanted to do was  _go home._ Somewhere he could be safe, somewhere nobody would touch him, somewhere nobody could hurt him.

"I didn't think I would have to do this twice in one day," RK900 mumbled, seeming more thoughtful than spiteful. "You're considerably loose now."

The words made Gavin gag, he didn't want to hear this, he didn't want to hear any of it. He tried his best to block out the sound, though he didn't know why he even bothered with the attempt. He wanted to fight back, he wanted to struggle and cry, but RK900's nails cutting at his waist were too painful for him to dare driving them in any further. RK900 was slick and fast and mechanical, it made the entire experience almost feel fake, like Gavin could pretend this was all perfect and normal and unreal.

His skin burned, his own blood running down to his ankles and barely puddling on the floor, his entire body feeling agonised and exhausted and sweaty and tainted. Maybe if he didn't speak at all, to anybody, maybe if he kept silent and kept to himself he wouldn't get in trouble again. Clearly any words he said could and would be used against him, so the only real solution was to never speak at all. It would all go away if he never spoke about it.

"Am I clear on my instructions?" RK900 asked curiously, running his hands up Gavin's back before sinking his nails in once again. "To not talk about this?"

Gavin nodded shakily and rested his head against the table, RK900's nails dragging down his body before resettling on his hips. The detective closed his eyes tightly, his hands trembling in their cuffs as he simply let it all happen. What else was he supposed to do? He would lock it up. If he locked it up, it would never get out. If it never got out, nobody would ever know. If nobody knew, he could protect himself from ever being hurt again. If nobody knew, he could protect himself from ever being judged. If nobody knew, he could pretend he didn't know either, and if he didn't know, then maybe he wouldn't have to ever feel a thing at all.

Nothing at all. 

"Detective Reed, please keep in mind that this is nothing personal." RK900 stated simply, running his hand gently down Gavin's thigh and eyeing him. "This is simply the easiest and most primal way to assert dominance and keep you in line. It is nothing more than discipline. Hopefully you'll see that soon."

Gavin didn't respond, opening his eyes very slightly, taking in nothing but the table before him, grey and plain and cold. His body burned with pain, his face dripped with sweat and tears and spit - crying was never pretty. He felt like he might pass out, feeling lightheaded and breathless, feeling tired and empty. 

"Once you're conditioned, we'll likely work very well together." RK900 coaxed, pressing a hand into the small of Gavin's back firmly. "You just need to become more compliant. The investigation will go smoothly if you listen to me."

Gavin wondered if Connor had ever been this way to Hank.

"Y-You're hurting me." Gavin mumbled quietly, barely even registering his own words through his numbness. 

"I know. Please remember how much this hurts next time you consider misbehaving. I only want what's best for you and the precinct."

Gavin nodded silently and set his head back down on the table.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been exactly a week.

Gavin had come to work every single day since he had first been partnered with RK900, and it had been  _exactly a week._ He would show up to work each day with new bruises, sometimes on his wrists, sometimes on his face, sometimes on his neck. He did his best to cover them, keeping his sleeves just a little too long, keeping his collars just a little too high, but he always knew they were there. He tried his best to look decent, but was finding it harder and harder to muscle through his morning routine. He was coming in unshaven, unwashed, dishevelled and  _exhausted_ every single day. People were starting to stare, people were starting to talk, and Gavin didn't have the energy to care.

RK900 was always there as well, always ready to discipline him at a moment's notice. He hadn't spoken much since the partnership began, but even  _that_ was being punished under the explanation of Gavin being  _uncooperative._ There was always something wrong,  _always_ , and Gavin was stumbling trying to keep up with all the vague new rules that had been pushed upon him.

He hadn't told a soul, not Connor, not Fowler, not anyone. He had wanted to, God how he'd wanted to, but he was scared. Genuinely scared. If he told, he could be - no, he  _would_ be hurt. He didn't want to be hurt, and even though a nagging feeling in his head told him that he was going to be hurt again whether he told or not, he was still gripping tightly to this idea that he might be alright if he could just behave, if he could just follow the rules. Maybe RK900 would like him, maybe RK900 would treat him with respect, maybe RK900 would stop hurting him if he could just behave.

The thought of trying to gain RK900's approval gave him sickening chills.

RK900 hadn't arrived yet, stationed at CyberLife for a weekly check-in while Gavin worked away at his desk. He imagined what RK900 might be saying about him, probably awful quips about his behaviour and attitude, but something told Gavin that RK900 would leave his disciplinary techniques out of the review. He wondered if RK900 had been programmed to go to such measures, or if it was a decision he had come to on his own. He wondered if it mattered.

Gavin sighed, leaning back in his desk chair and staring up at the ceiling. He hadn't stopped feeling sick all week, and sleepless nights had left his head pounding. He didn't want to be here, but doing work was the only thing that made anything feel  _normal_ anymore, and he just wanted normalcy. He needed normalcy. He closed his eyes, the bright lights of the precinct blaring at him and making his headache all the more painful. His whole body was aching, exhausted and raw and pushed to its limits. Sitting down hurt so badly it made him want to cry, but he also didn't want to draw any attention by standing at his desk.

"Detective Reed?"

Gavin startled, the agonizingly familiar voice striking a pang of fear in him as he bolted upright in his chair, startling the android before him slightly in return. Connor looked down at him with concerned eyes, Gavin starting back, eyes wide and frantic. It was Connor. Connor wasn't going to hurt him. He wanted to believe that so badly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I wasn't scared," Gavin breathed, "The fuck do you want?"

"You looked tired," Connor began hesitantly, setting a gently steaming mug of coffee down on the corner of Gavin's desk. "I...thought you may enjoy a coffee. It should replenish some of your energy for a while."

Gavin eyed the coffee in confusion for a moment before his eyes focused back on Connor, his brow furrowed. Connor had been concerned for him. Connor had done something nice for him because Connor was worried about him. Nobody at the precinct had  _ever_ done something nice for him out of worry, not that Gavin had given them any reason to care about him in the first place. This was new.

"You finally brought me a coffee, dipshit." Gavin mumbled, his voice slightly awed more than anything else.

Connor paused for a moment before seemingly registering the reference, a sympathetic smile playing at his expression.

"I suppose I did."

"...Thanks." Gavin replied quietly, picking up the mug and taking a sip.

It was black and bitter, the way Gavin liked it, always the kick he needed to get going in the morning. He had missed coffee, genuinely. The last few mornings had been too crowded with his own thoughts and struggles to really register anything aside from getting dressed and getting to work. He had been skipping the little joys he often granted himself, like coffee and showers and shaving. All important.

Connor blinked in surprise, rightfully so, this was the first time Gavin had ever genuinely thanked him. He pursed his lips, his LED flickering with yellow as he tried to dig up some kind of response. Instead, he just gave a short nod before quickly turning on his heel and briskly walking away. Gavin watched as he sat back down at his desk, instantly leaning in to talk to Hank, likely about Gavin's sudden change in attitude.

Gavin looked away, focusing his attention back to his terminal as he sipped his coffee. RK900 would be here soon, so it would be best for him if he could at least  _attempt_ to get some work done. They had made a lot of progress on the case, though there were still many miles to run, and Gavin was getting tired. He wanted to close the case desperately; if he could close the case, it might mean that RK900 would return to CyberLife, it might mean that he could start to feel normal again. He wondered if that would even be possible.

His world felt small, his world felt like it was confined completely to his desk and the interrogation room, the two spaces he had become so painfully used to. He hadn't realized how much this would spill into his daily life, it was terrifying. It had truly hit him a few days ago when Hank and Connor had brought in a suspect. They had dragged him off to the interrogation room, and that sight alone had given Gavin chills. What hit him even harder was being behind that mirror, staring on into the interrogation room as the suspect was cuffed down to the table, Gavin easily being able to recall the feeling of the cold shackles around his own wrist in the exact same spot. It made him nauseous.

He wrapped his arms around himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He had to get past this, he  _had_ to, if he couldn't get past this he was going to fall apart. He felt like he was barely holding himself together with his own hands, like it might be the only thing holding him together at all, like if he let himself relax for even a minute he would crumble to pieces and nothing would be there to catch him, nobody would be there to piece him back together. He took a deep breath.

"...Gavin?"

He was jolted out of his thoughts once again, his eyes instantly flicking upwards to meet Connor's. Still dark. Still warm. Still worried. Gavin took a sip of his coffee. Warm.

"I was wondering if you would be available to talk in the briefing room when you get the chance." Connor requested, tilting his head inquisitively. "I'd like to ask you about something, if it's alright with you."

Gavin felt a chill run through him, his hand almost giving out and dropping his mug before he was quickly able to regain focus. Connor knew, he had to have figured it out, he  _had_ to have, and that filled Gavin with so many feelings he didn't understand that it was absolutely terrifying. He was relieved, so relieved, and so, so scared.

"Yeah," Gavin replied quickly, gently thumbing his coffee mug in anxiety. "Yeah, that's fine, whenever you want."

"Well would you be available now, then?"

Gavin swallowed and nodded, standing up. He gripped his coffee mug tightly and took another sip. Still warm. Connor offered him a tiny smile and a nod, turning and leading him to the briefing room. Gavin's eyes drifted slightly, falling finally on Hank, who was watching them out of the corner of his eye. Gavin wondered if Hank knew too. He wondered if it would even matter to Hank.

Gavin entered the briefing room, Connor quietly closing the door behind him and standing formally at the front of the room. Gavin stood standing as well, something Connor noted, but didn't extend the effort to mention. It wasn't the time.

"So what the hell's this about?" Gavin asked, stifling a yawn and taking another sip of his coffee.

Connor paused for a moment, his LED flickering with yellow as he searched for the right words to use. Finally, he sighed and spoke.

"Detective Reed,  _are you okay?"_

Gavin was dead silent, his mind suddenly going completely empty. He hadn't expected that question. He opened his mouth to speak for a moment before closing it again, unable to find the words. He suddenly felt like his entire facade was melting away, the facade he had worked so hard to build,  _everything_ he had worked so hard to build, everything felt like it was suddenly cracking, suddenly falling. His everything was falling. 

He suddenly felt his hands trembling, his shoulders hunching as his body worked to make itself smaller, he wanted to be smaller, too small to see, he didn't want to be seen, he didn't want  _anybody_ to see him, not right now, not while his breath was coming short and his thoughts were coming empty and his tears were coming fast. Connor's expression was unwavering, thoughtful and sympathetic, warm and worried and concerned.

"N-No, fuck,  _no_." he finally stammered out, setting his coffee down so it wouldn't spill out of his shaking hands. " _I-I'm not okay, fuck._ "

"Detective Reed-"

" _Gavin._ " Gavin insisted desperately, his title stinging his ears in that familiar voice. "Please, Gavin, just say Gavin."

" _Gavin._ " Connor corrected.

Gavin noted the small coin he was toying with in his fingers, seemingly anxiously, and the detective couldn't help but wonder if Connor was just as worried about all of this as he was.

"Gavin, has RK900 been sexually assaulting you?"

Gavin stilled with his mouth shut tightly, wiping the tears from his bruised face with his sleeve. Of course Connor had known, it was obvious, at least from what Connor had seen. The blood, the panic, the fear, Connor knew exactly what was going on. Gavin was relieved, really, he was so relieved, but he was  _so_ afraid. The knowledge was out there. Somebody else knew, and there was absolutely nothing he could do to control what they did with the info.

"Please don't tell." he croaked out quietly, his voice strained and scared.

He hated hearing it like that.

"I'm not going to," Connor assured quickly, holding up his hands in innocence. "Gavin, I'm not going to tell anybody, I promise you I'm not going to tell anybody."

He hated how hard he was crying.

"Fuck, Connor, I-I don't know what to do, I-" Gavin stammered, his breathing quick and laboured, laced with chokes and hiccups. " _I don't know what to do._ "

"Let me help you. Please."

He hated how much he appreciated what Connor was doing. He hated how much he appreciated being cared for. He hated how much he needed somebody right now.

"P-Please just tell me what the fuck I'm supposed to  _do._ "

"Just let me help you. I want to help you."

"H-He can't find out, he-"

" _He won't_ , Gavin." Connor interrupted, sighing. "He won't."

Gavin nodded shakily, running his fingers through his hair and taking a staggered breath. Connor knew, and he couldn't undo that. Maybe having a teammate would make this better. Maybe having a teammate would be what killed him.

"Can I touch you?"

Gavin was quiet for a moment before nodding, wiping his eyes frantically on his sleeve. Before he could even lower his arm, Connor was hugging him. For the second time this week, Gavin let himself cry.


	5. Chapter 5

"I've got the list of suspects, now we just need to visit some addresses and ask some questions." Hank mused, dropping his stack of papers on Connor's desk. "That's progress, kiddo."

For all of this morning, Hank had been carrying this investigation. Connor had given small inputs here and there, but he had seemed immensely distracted since yesterday afternoon, and Hank was starting to worry. He wasn't exactly the affectionate type if he could avoid it, so he had taken to working his hardest on this case to cheer Connor up. It seemed to be a failing endeavour, but at least he had gotten some work done.

"Right," Connor commented emptily, keeping his eyes focused downwards in thought. "I'll retrieve the addresses."

Hank's fake smile faltered slightly, the detective sighing as he dropped back into his chair. He realized he should only really care about the case and how much progress he had made in the last 24 hours, but his attention was squared on Connor. Connor was upset.

"Alright, so we'll get the addresses, then-"

Connor suddenly bolted upright, his eyes wide and focused on the other side of the bullpen as his LED blared with sudden red, interrupting Hank with a startle.

"One moment please!" he stated hurriedly before practically booking it across the room, leaving Hank staring on in stunned silence.

Connor didn't look back when Hank called his name, something had caught his attention. He hadn't been too focused on anything but Gavin since yesterday, and it had made him very,  _very_ alert in terms of RK900. Gavin had been the only thing on his mind. He wanted to help, truly, but he was struggling to find a way to do that. However, for now, the one thing he could do was make sure Gavin wasn't dragged off again. He had spotted it from across the room, RK900 rising to his full towering stature and grabbing Gavin by the bruised wrist. That was all Connor needed to see for alarm bells to start ringing in his head.

"Excuse me, Detective Reed?" he began breathlessly, stopping abruptly at Gavin's desk.

RK900 eyed him coldly, raising an eyebrow and subtly letting go of Gavin's wrist. Connor couldn't help but notice the way that Gavin's eyes were perfectly locked with his own,  _pleading_ , Gavin looking exhausted and tense and hurt. Connor felt uneasy calling him  _Detective Reed_ after Gavin had begged him to call him by his first name, but Connor knew the change would be easily picked up on by RK900, and that wasn't something he could risk.

"What can we help you with?" RK900 inquired, tilting his head slightly.

"I need to speak to Detective Reed for a moment about a case I'm working on," Connor started, frantically inventing his story as he spoke, doing his best to keep stoic and calm. "He's an experienced detective and I think a fresh set of eyes will be beneficial for my evidence."

RK900 glanced between the two of them for a moment before giving Connor a curt nod, releasing Gavin's wrist. Connor silently breathed a sigh of relief, keeping his eyes very deliberately locked with Gavin's. RK900 stalked back to his desk silently, taking a seat and typing away at his terminal. Connor needed to think fast, but before anything else, he had to get Gavin away from RK900.

Quickly, he ushered Gavin to the break room, keeping his eyes forward and his shoulders squared. Gavin was close behind him, following him with no questions or complains. He wanted to get away from RK900, away from his desk, that's all that mattered to him right now, he didn't care where Connor wanted to go.

"Are you alright?" Connor asked quietly, standing at the table and turning to face Gavin. "I'm sorry for intervening, I wasn't comfortable letting him take you somewhere private."

"I'm okay." Gavin assured quietly, resting his hands on the table. "Um, thank you."

Connor still wasn't used to seeing Gavin in this sort of state, and he was noticing new discrepancies every moment. Gavin looked more pale, he looked gaunt, he looked tired. All things Connor had already noted. But now, upon closer inspection, more flaws came into light. Gavin looked too thin, Connor wondered if he had been eating properly. Gavin looked dishevelled, Connor wondered if he had been showering. Gavin looked resigned, Connor wondered if he had any fight left in him. He hoped so.

"Was he taking you to...?" Connor trailed off, suddenly losing any idea of what he had planned to say. "Was he going to hurt you?"

Gavin nodded exhaustedly, resting his head on his palm, his eyes flickering downward. Connor couldn't help but get the feeling that Gavin was still trying to lock this all away, like everything would go back to normal if Gavin just pretended nothing was happening. Connor knew better than that, and Connor knew that Gavin would likely let himself rot away to death if Connor didn't do something to help quickly.

Maybe Connor being there was all Gavin really needed.

"I can't believe he let me go with you." Gavin mumbled tiredly, raising an eyebrow slightly at Connor.

Connor frowned, genuinely perturbed by the way Gavin spoke of RK900 as if RK900 owned him. In Gavin's mind, he did. RK900 controlled what he could and couldn't do, how he could and couldn't act, who he could and couldn't talk to. He was nothing more than a possession, and it was a feeling he wasn't used to. Connor could see that easily, and frankly, he didn't like it. 

In his eyes, Gavin had always been fascinating, despite the way the detective treated him. Gavin was young and determined, and though it may be annoying at times, he was extremely driven to work hard. Gavin never left a project unfinished, sometimes working ridiculous amounts of overtime without sleeping simply to close a case. Gavin was more than the jackass people saw him as, Gavin was somebody who had clawed his way to the top of his field. Connor respected that, though it made it all the more painful to watch it crumble around him.

"As a fellow detective android, he likely trusted me to act as  _he_ would." Connor explained calmly. "He may not be aware of who exactly I am. If he is, perhaps he just trusted me for reasons I'm not aware of."

"Speaking of that," Gavin started hesitantly, folding his hands. "I wanted to ask you something. About your model or whatever."

"Yes?"

"Do all RKs discipline their human partners like that? Like, before you were a deviant, did you ever do that to Hank?"

Connor paled, his LED flickering red as he fell into a stunned silence. The very  _idea_ of doing something like that to Hank made his insides turn. He would never, ever want to see Hank in the same state Gavin was, especially at his own hands. He couldn't even picture it, Hank looking as pale and tired and afraid as Gavin did, Hank fearing him the same way Gavin feared RK900. It was nauseating.

"No!" Connor insisted quickly, his expression one of shock and discomfort. "No, of course not, I would never do that. Never."

Gavin nodded quietly, trailing his finger on the table distractedly.

"S-So, maybe it's  _me_ then?"

Connor's expression fell.

"No, Gavin, it's not." he assured quickly, locking eyes with the detective. "It isn't you. You don't deserve anything like this."

Gavin could be nasty, Gavin could be annoying, Gavin could be racist and putrid and egotistical, but Gavin was a person. Gavin was a person that Connor cared about, not that he could exactly explain why, but regardless, nothing Gavin had done could ever have warranted something like this, especially not something as small as talking back to his android partner.

Gavin couldn't find the words to reply, simply thinking as he looked on into Connor's eyes. Connor's eyes had become a source of comfort for him, they were one of the main things that distinguished him from RK900, and they were  _expressive_ , so expressive they were almost human, it helped Gavin remember how real Connor had become, how human he was being for Gavin's comfort, how human it was to care about Gavin, how human it was to try and protect Gavin. He wasn't used to it, he wasn't used to being protected and cared for and even spoken to. Connor was a new experience for him.

"You should eat something." Connor insisted quietly, sighing and fixing his tie. "You look unhealthy."

"I'm not hungry." Gavin mumbled. 

He actually hadn't eaten since this had all started, something he hadn't really realized. All of the empty feelings and pain had all sort of blended to the point where he couldn't differentiate them anymore, hunger falling into the back of his mind as he filled the space with nausea instead. He doubted he could keep down any food if he tried, not when every thought he had lead him to sickness. The memories of being hurt, the memories of being pressed into the table, the memories of RK900's nails and the memories of his stomach lurching and the smell of  _vomit_ , they all stuck in his head, and it was safe to say that he really  _wasn't_ hungry.

"Are you sure...?"

"I'm sure."

Connor nodded hesitantly, stepping away from the table. Gavin could tell Connor was hesitant to bring him back to his desk, they both knew RK900 would be waiting there. Gavin wondered if he would have forgotten about the punishment by now. He hoped so. Sighing, he turned, swallowing before glancing over his shoulder at Connor.

"We should head back."

"I should accompany you."

"He won't want you there."

Without taking the debate any further, Gavin turned back towards the door, proceeding to his desk. His pulse hammered in his ears, his hands trembling, things that often happened whenever he was forced to go back to his desk. He could hear footsteps following quickly behind him, and knowing that it was only Connor did little to put his mind at ease. 

"You're back." RK900 commented, standing up and eyeing Connor. "What was it you two discussed?"

"My current case, as mentioned prior." Connor answered quickly.

Something about hearing the exact same voice parroted back and fourth made Gavin's head spin.

"You weren't discussing any unrelated matters, correct?"

"Correct." 

There was a brief pause, Connor staring up at RK900 as RK900 stared down at him coldly. The two were like statues, unmoving, unfaltering. Gavin watched on silently, his eyes flickering between them as his heart pounded in his chest. Without warning, RK900 suddenly snapped his hand forward, locking it firmly around Connor's forearm. The android startled and jerked back for a moment before freezing up, his eyes rolling back as his eyelids flickered rapidly. Gavin felt his stomach drop, he had no idea what was going on, Connor's mechanical beeping and slightly open mouth giving him the appearance of an android who was practically broken.

After a frantic moment, Connor jerked his arm away, his eyes wide as he panted quietly. RK900's eyes were icy, coldly staring down at Connor as he tucked his arms behind his back. He was imposing, he had always been imposing, and Gavin was  _terrified._ He paled as RK900's attention instead moved towards him, his expression painting a clear image of what had happened. He had scanned Connor's memory. He had seen it all. He had seen Gavin break down sobbing in the briefing room, crying in Connor's arms as the android promised him help. He knew that Gavin had told.  _He knew that Gavin had told._

Gavin felt like he was going to vomit from pure nerves alone, RK900's heavy hand falling solidly on his shoulder as the android leaned in. Connor was staring on in panicked horror, still looking shaken and terrified from the moment that had just transpired. 

"You're lucky," RK900 began, his voice low and husky as he muttered into Gavin's ear. "That I can't just discipline you right here at your desk."

Without another word, he stood, adjusted his collar, and walked off. The second he was out of sight, Gavin thought he might scream, trembling so badly he thought he was going to collapse. Connor looked just as shaken, his hand pressed to his forehead, pale and stunned, his LED blaring with red. Gavin couldn't understand what it felt like to have your memories probed, but he could understand fear, he could understand  _terror_ , and he could understand that the situation had just gotten a million times worse than he could have possibly imagined.

"W-We need to do something." Connor mumbled, quickly attempting to compose himself, serving up the image of being completely fine.

Gavin didn't buy it.


	6. Chapter 6

Connor hadn't settled down.

While Gavin had managed to work himself into a sick numbness over the past week, Connor had not. Connor was still looking for solutions, something Gavin had abandoned, and Gavin imagined that fact was probably the difference between their mindsets right now. Gavin hadn't seen RK900 since he had stalked off down the hallway, and he was anxious. The android could be anywhere, doing anything, and Gavin had no clue what to say or do or think right now. He was lost and he was scared.

Connor had pulled him away to the briefing room, Gavin noticing the way Hank had watched him go. Connor had been with Gavin practically all day, and he imagined that was starting to stir up some suspicion in Hank, maybe even jealousy. Connor was now pacing, Gavin leaning against the wall, buried in his own thoughts and doubts. What would happen now? What would happen now that RK900 knew? He didn't know how much more punishment he could endure before he took matters into his own hands.

He paled. Was he really considering killing himself?

"Gavin, I have a proposition, and you aren't going to like it."

Gavin glanced up at Connor, raising an eyebrow slightly and folding his arms. Connor took a deep breath and stopped pacing, looking back at him.

"I think we should tell Captain Fowler."

"What?!" Gavin startled, his eyes widening. "No, no, we can't tell Fowler, I could lose my job Connor."

"For what?" Connor insisted. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I was supposed to cooperate with RK900, Fowler was already pissed about my complaining when we first got assigned, h-he'll think I'm making it up to switch partners, he'll be fucking  _furious_ Connor." Gavin rambled, stumbling over his own words as his doubts came flooding out of his head. "I'll get fired, I'll lose everything."

"Gavin, look at yourself." Connor pressed, his eyes flickering up and down Gavin's body. "You look  _awful_ , he's not going to think you're okay. He's probably going to be worried about you. Fowler is a good captain, I promise you."

Gavin hesitated. Connor was right, he hadn't really considered how he looked right now, but he knew he didn't exactly look  _well._ He had that much to back him up, but he also had Connor, and for some reason, he trusted the android. Connor seemed invested in making sure he was okay. Part of him really did want Fowler to know, if Fowler knew then maybe he could do something about it. Maybe he could help. Or maybe it would ruin everything.

"Gavin, I need you to trust me." Connor urged. "Please. I can predict the probability of success, I'm a good negotiator. I can help you talk to Fowler."

Gavin had almost forgotten that Connor was  _designed_ for things like negotiation. Maybe it would go better than he thought. He took a deep breath, squaring his shoulders and looking Connor in the eyes. He just had to convince himself that he could do this. He just had to convince himself that Fowler could help, that  _Connor_ could help, that everything could go back to normal and he could be okay. He wished it was as easy as he made it sound.

Connor was right, he knew that, he probably wouldn't be fired for taking this to Fowler. At the same time, he couldn't help the nagging in his mind that told him everything could go wrong. The whole precinct could find out. People at work hated him, what if they didn't believe him? What if they didn't care? What if they made fun of him for being so weak, for being so childish? Maybe it wasn't worth the risk.

"If word gets out, the whole precinct could turn against me." Gavin argued tentatively, folding his arms once again. "And what if they turned against RK900? He'd fucking hate me."

Gavin paused, his mind suddenly blanking at the look of confusion on Connor's face.

"Gavin," the android started cautiously. "Why would you care if he hates you?"

Gavin was silent in response. He had no idea. It shouldn't matter to him what RK900 thought, RK900 was awful, why should it matter at all? Did he want RK900 to like him? He tried to picture that, not being punished, RK900's eyes having the same warm tinge to them that Connor's did, RK900 being caring and gentle and  _liking_ him the way Connor did, RK900 not hurting him.

Could he have that?

"I-I don't," he defended hurriedly. "I don't, it doesn't matter, I want him gone."

Connor looked skeptic, stepping a little closer to Gavin as he eyed him. Connor was worried, Gavin had gone and worried him again without even thinking. He silently cursed himself for being so stupid, for dragging Connor down into this with him. Productive, perfect, attentive Connor, Connor with so much potential, Connor with so much light in him, dragged down to hell with Gavin. He didn't deserve that. Gavin didn't deserve him.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked quietly, the words stinging Gavin just as much as they had the day before.

"I-I dunno." Gavin admitted quickly, running his fingers through his hair in thought. "I dunno, I just- I-I've got this dumb fuckin' idea in my head that...that he could be like you."

"Like me?" Connor mumbled, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean like me?"

"Like-" Gavin paused, taking a deep breath and pursing his lips. "I-I don't know. I don't know, I-I'm sorry."

"Gavin, what do you mean like me?" Connor pressed, furrowing his brow slightly.

Gavin had gone and worried him again. He felt his throat seem to tighten, like he was locking up, like he was closing himself off again. He couldn't find the words, no matter how hard he dug he just  _couldn't_ , frustrated tears welling in his eyes as he scraped for some sort of meaning to being  _like Connor._ He just wanted RK900 to be like Connor, what did that even mean?

He knew what it meant.

"W-Warm." he breathed, a hiccup catching in his throat.

Connor was silent, his eyes meeting Gavin's as seconds passed in the room. He looked stunned, though he also looked like he was trying not to show it. Neither of them spoke, the same words echoing through Gavin's head as he stared into Connor's eyes. Dark. Emotional. Warm. So fucking warm.

"He's cold, Gavin." Connor spoke quietly, his LED blinking yellow in thought. "He can't be like me."

"I-I know."

"You can't wait for him to change."

"I know."

"He doesn't deserve that patience from you."

"I-I know, I know." Gavin mumbled, keeping his voice low and quiet. "It's just...hard."

"I know."

Gavin stayed silent, pursing his lips as he let his thoughts process for a moment. He wiped his face on his sleeve, his bruises flaring lightly with pain as he touched them, memories of his hours spent in the briefing room this week. Connor was right, he knew that, RK900 wasn't ever going to change and that was a fact he would have to accept. He had to stop clinging to this idea that he could have somebody like Connor, that he could have anything close to what Hank had, that he could have that warmth in his life. He wondered if having RK900 act like Connor would even be as good as he imagined. He wondered if it wasn't the  _behaviour_ that he wanted to badly in this.

"I think we should go talk to Fowler." Connor finally spoke, tentatively reaching a hand forward and locking fingers with Gavin, his skin fading away to reveal the white plastic beneath it. 

Something about it was raw, something about it was comforting. Gavin didn't protest.

"Alright." he replied hesitantly, "I-I trust you."

* * *

Gavin swallowed, burying his hands in his pockets as he followed Connor into Fowler's office. He could feel RK900's eyes on him from across the room, sending chills through his body. He was really going to do this, he was really going to tell Fowler what had happened. Connor was with him, sure, but that did little to quell the pounding in his heart that this whole thing was causing. He was scared. He was really, really scared.

"Take a seat." Fowler instructed, not stopping to look up from his terminal as Gavin quietly shut the door behind them.

Connor sat, Gavin opting to stand, leaning with his arms crossed against the door. Fowler eyed him, but ultimately decided against arguing, years of working with both Gavin and Hank had taught him to pick and choose his battles carefully. It wasn't worth the yelling.

"What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Connor paused for a moment, eyeing Gavin and raising an eyebrow. Gavin swallowed, standing up straight and dropping his hands to his sides. They were shaking. Subtly, he slipped them into his pockets, trying to find the right words to use, the words that wouldn't send him into a full blown panic.

"I-I need a new partner." he started, Fowler looking up at him with a glower before pausing, his expression changing to one of genuine surprise and confusion.

Gavin guessed it probably had something to do with the state he was in.

"Did something happen?" Fowler asked, rolling back from his desk slightly and looking up to meet Gavin's eyes.

Gavin suddenly felt his body tense up again, words failing as his mind blanked. He wanted to speak, he wanted to force the words out so it would be  _over with,_ but they wouldn't come. He closed his mouth, inhaling deeply through his nose and letting the breath out again. He had to do this. Connor eyed him once again.

"Do you want me to say it?" the android offered gently.

Gavin nodded.

"Captain Fowler," Connor began, keeping his voice as stoic and official as ever. "RK900 has been sexually assaulting Detective Reed over the course of this week."

Fowler seemed to freeze, slowly raising an eyebrow as all words left him.

"What?" he breathed, his eyes instantly snapping back to Gavin. " _What?_ "

"RK900 has been using corrective rape as a punishment for Detective Reed's uncooperative attitude." Connor explained, lowering his voice slightly.

The word was like a slap across the face for Gavin, it was the first time anybody had said it out loud.  _Rape._ When he thought of rape, he didn't think of people like him, he didn't think of fit men with guns and police training, he thought of battered housewives or scantily clad young singles. He didn't think of himself. He had been raped. He tried his best to let that set in, but the concept made his skin crawl. He had been raped. He had been raped over and over and over. Nausea flooded him.

"Gavin, is he serious?"

Gavin nodded shakily, swallowing and focusing his eyes on the floor.

"Y-Yeah," he mumbled. "Yeah, he's telling the truth."

Fowler was speechless, the room silent as everybody attempted to process the words that had been spoken. Gavin was shaky, he wanted somebody to speak, he wanted some kind of confirmation that Fowler believed him and he wasn't going to be punished for speaking out.

"Go home," Fowler started, pressing his hand to his forehead as he tried to find a proper response. "Go home, hell, you shouldn't be here right now."

"I shouldn't?" Gavin started, his stomach dropping.

"You're not suspended." Fowler quickly clarified. "Nothing like that, i just...think you would be best resting right now. You shouldn't be at work."

"Captain," Connor interjected hesitantly. "I think it would be best if Gavin stayed with Lieutenant Anderson and I for the time being."

"Why's that?"

"I think it would be beneficial to his mental health to not be left alone right now."

"...That's up to you." Fowler sighed, glancing at Gavin. "Fuck, I-...I can't believe this shit. Gavin, go home, I'll handle it. It's gonna be alright."

Gavin didn't need to hear another word. He turned on his heel, leaving as fast as he could without completely sprinting out of the office. Connor was hot on his tail, following briskly behind the detective as he exited.

"Gavin," Connor started quickly, catching up to Gavin and slowing his pace to match. "Are you okay with staying with us or-?"

"Y-Yeah." Gavin interrupted quickly. "Yeah, that's fine, just- Th-Thank you."

Gavin was doing his best to hold himself together. He couldn't fall apart, not here, not in the middle of the bullpen, not when RK900 was staring at him like a hawk spotting a mouse. He felt small,  _so_ small, small and powerless and confused. Everything was in Fowler's hands now,  _all he had to do was go home_ , and it still felt terrifyingly  _hard_.

"Do you want me to inform Hank of the situation?" Connor asked hesitantly. "It will likely help me convince him to let you stay."

"That's...That's fine." Gavin breathed, running his fingers through his hair. "That's fine."

"You're incredibly brave, Gavin." Connor praised gently before quickly turning, hurrying back to his desk.

Gavin stood, not daring to turn around to meet RK900's eyes. He watched Connor, keeping careful focus as the android approached his partner.

"The hell was that about?" Hank questioned, leaning back in his desk. "You two get in a fight or something?"

"Actually," Connor began, taking a seat. "There's something I have to tell you."

 


	7. Chapter 7

The ride home was quiet.

Gavin was sitting in the back seat with his head resting against the window, not saying a word. He hadn't spoken to Hank yet, though he had seen the way Hank's expression  fell to shock and disgust and  _fury_ when Connor had told him the full story. He didn't know exactly how Hank felt about all this, especially letting Gavin stay with him, but then again, Gavin wasn't even sure how  _he_ felt. He couldn't even  _begin_ to think of how everybody around him might feel right now.

Connor had been silent as well, his LED maintaining a steady yellow pulse as they drove. He was deep in thought, Gavin imagined they probably all were. Fowler knew, so now what? What would happen? Would he have to continue working with RK900 until he found a new partner? When would he go back to work? What was going to happen to RK900? His mind was plagued with questions, so many questions that it made him dizzy. He wanted to sleep, it had been days since he slept, he just wanted to forget all of this for a few hours and  _rest._ He needed to.

"Here she is," Hank sighed, pulling into his driveway and parking the door. "You can have the couch."

Connor eyed Hank skeptically for a moment, raising an eyebrow. Gavin got the impression that the couch was typically Connor's sleeping space, which didn't shock him since Hank's house looked to be the size of a shoebox and Connor didn't seem to care too much about comfort. Hank gave a slight shrug, Connor giving a curt nod in response. It was almost like they were speaking to each other without actually saying a single word, and Gavin couldn't help but long for that same connection. It came so easy to them. Why couldn't RK900 be Connor?

The words echoed in his head.  _He's cold, Gavin._

"Thank you." Gavin mumbled quietly, opening his door. "For letting me stay and everything."

"Don't mention it." Hank dismissed, getting out of the car.

Connor followed curtly, glancing at Gavin for a moment before leading him into the house. The second the front door had opened, he could hear wild barking, a massive dog charging towards Connor so quickly that it practically bowled the android over. 

"Woah-!" Connor startled before quickly dropping to his knees, frantically petting and scratching the dog as Hank rolled his eyes and passed them into the living room.

Hank's house wasn't what Gavin had expected. Everybody growing up in Detroit had heard about the incredible police lieutenant Hank Anderson, a top student and top officer alike. He had expected something tidy, something either very organized or devastated with case files. Instead, Hank's house looked a little scrappy but also a little cozy, much like Hank himself. His couch looked comfortable, so Gavin was looking forward to that, and his TV was a fairly admirable size as well. Gavin wondered how well he got paid.

Things looked a little ruffled but also thoroughly cleaned and tidied, something Gavin noted was likely Connor's input to the house. There were several pictures framed on shelves or stuck on the fridge with colourful magnets, pictures of Hank, pictures of Connor, pictures of the two of them, pictures of Hank's son. Gavin had remembered reading about Cole's death in the newspaper, and he had honestly almost forgotten about it. He imagined that  _Hank_   _probably hadn't_.

Hank's dog was massive and expertly groomed, another thing Gavin noted as probably being Connor's work considering how close the android and animal clearly were. The dog was frantically licking Connor's face, Connor roughly scratching the dog in praise as the two sat on the floor. Gavin took a few more steps inside, sliding his jacket off of his shoulders and hanging it up on the coat rack by Hank's door. He didn't really need it, Hank's house was actually fairly warm. That didn't surprise him.

"Food's in the fridge, help yourself." Hank offered, looking slightly uncertain and definitely sympathetic. "We can swing by your place if there's anything you wanna pick up later. Don't know how long you plan on staying."

Something about Hank's pity grew a pit of awful feelings inside of Gavin. He was used to fighting with Hank, he was used to fighting with Hank over  _everything,_ the two were practically rivals with how often they argued and how much they hated each other. Seeing Hank suddenly pity him made him feel sick. He wanted Hank to hate him, at least then he could pretend that  _something_ was just the same as it had always been. He wanted to kick and spit and fight like an animal, but he didn't. He sat down on the couch and took a deep breath.

"Y-Yeah, that's fine, we can stop by my apartment later."

"Alright, Connor'll take you."

Connor nodded quickly, jumping to his feet attentively as the dog bounded off into the kitchen. Gavin gave Connor a quick nod of thanks before turning back towards the TV, staring at the blank screen emptily. He could just sit here forever, pretending everything was normal, pretending everything was okay, maybe even pretending everything was  _better._ He could pretend he was close with Hank and Connor, that he was over in their house because they were all friends, that this had all happened under completely different circumstances. He could pretend that the smell of blood and sweat and salt wasn't still in his mind. He could pretend his world was warm.

"I'm gonna go take Sumo out," Hank yawned, zipping up his jacket and grabbing Sumo's leash from the coat rack. "Be back in a bit."

Hank was leaving because it was awkward. Gavin could tell that much, but judging by the way the dog - apparently Sumo - came bounding down the hallway to prepare for his walk so eagerly, Gavin could probably agree that it was a good move. He listened quietly as a few moments passed before the front door opened and shut again, leaving the house in empty silence. Gavin stayed quiet, letting himself relax slightly as Connor calmly walked over to the couch and sat down next to him.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked gently.

Gavin was starting to get used to that question. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and running his fingers through his hair. Being used to the question didn't make it any easier to answer.

"I'm...thinking a lot." Gavin admitted, opening his eyes, half-lidded with exhaustion. "I don't know what's gonna happen now."

"Now things are going to get better." Connor assured.

Gavin wanted to believe it so badly.

"We don't know what's going to happen." he pressed, glancing over at Connor. "We have no fucking clue."

Connor seemed to falter slightly, his LED flickering red for a moment before returning to a more steady yellow. He furrowed his brow in thought. Connor had been acting off since RK900 had scanned his memory, his optimism having dried up slightly. Gavin didn't know how to feel about it. On the one hand, having Connor be a little more realistic was refreshing at times, but on the other hand, the optimism was just as helpful. He wondered if Connor was okay. He wondered a lot of things about Connor.

"We don't." Connor confirmed, glancing down. "We don't, you're right, not for certain. But we know what  _isn't_ going to happen."

"And what's that exactly?"

"He isn't going to hurt you again."

Gavin blinked in surprise, glancing back over at Connor. The android's eyes were locked on Gavin's own, a sudden new boldness clear in Connor's voice.

"How do you kn-"

" _I won't let him_." Connor interrupted, carefully taking Gavin's hand. "He won't touch you."

Gavin watched as Connor's artificial skin faded away from his fingers, Connor allowing his real plastic to connect with Gavin's hand. It felt real, more real that Gavin could have imagined. It kept him grounded. He needed to be kept grounded. The two were silent, Gavin feeling tears begin to rise to his eyes as his body tensed, emotion suddenly flooding him, everything was suddenly so  _real._ Without another word, he pulled Connor in, sobbing quietly against his chest.

Connor held him close.

* * *

Connor was in Hank's bed.

That was a fairly rare occurrence. While Sumo was allowed to sleep in Hank's bed whenever he pleased, Connor was less welcome. That being said, with Gavin sleeping on his couch, Connor didn't have many options, so tonight he was sleeping so close to Hank that the two were practically spooning. Being that close made it a little surprising to Connor when Hank wasn't woken up by the sound from the bathroom.

Connor had heard something. It was a light coughing, followed by something he could easily - and with hard familiarity - pin down as vomiting. He had gotten out of bed quickly, throwing a shirt on and padding quietly to the bathroom. Hank was in bed and sober, which meant the only person in the bathroom could be Gavin or an intruder, and Connor felt it safe to assume that nobody would break into his and Hank's shared house to vomit.

"Gavin...?" Connor spoke quietly, opening the bathroom door.

Gavin was hunched over the toilet bowl, a trembling sobbing mess looking like the only thing keeping him upright was his grip on the toilet. Connor was quick to kneel down next to him, steadying the detective and rubbing his back gently as Gavin went limp against his side.

"Are you ill?" Connor asked, scanning over Gavin as he searched for any potential signs of viruses or sicknesses.

"M-M'fine, it was a dream." Gavin stammered out.

Oh.

Connor sighed, continuing to rub Gavin's back as the detective clung to him. He was well experienced in the field of bad dreams, staying up with Hank through several hours of sleeplessness. Nightmares were something he could handle, and if there was something he could handle, he would do his best to handle it.

"I'll stay up with you." he offered quietly, resting his hand on Gavin's shoulder. "I find it often helps not to be alone."

"Y-You don't have to do that, fuck, y-you're already letting me stay in your house,  _j-just stop._ "

"I want to help you."

" _Y-You don't f-fucking have to._ "

"I want to."

"Y-You don't...I-I-..."

"I want to, Gavin."

 


	8. Chapter 8

Connor had a lot on his mind.

He stood in the doorway of the bullpen, watching as everybody bustled about. They didn't have a clue. None of them had a clue. None of them had a single clue what had happened, what had been done, what had been said, who had been hurt, none of them had a clue. Likewise, none of them knew what he was about to do. They just walked about, moving files and papers and tablets and  _none of them knew._

He pulled out the chair of Gavin's desk, taking a seat and folding his hands in his lap. RK900's eyes flickered upwards to meet him, the two locking eyes as their LEDs simultaneously switched to yellow. Connor didn't want to have this conversation out loud.Despite this, he took a deep breath before transmitting his message.

_Why would you do that?_

_You'll have to be more specific._

_Why would you give me those memories?_

RK900 paused for a moment, eyeing Connor.

_I thought perhaps Detective Reed was not the only one who needed a little bit of discipline._

_Why would you give me memories of doing that to him?_

_I've stated my reasons._

Connor clenched his fists slightly in his lap.

_I don't want these memories._

_Does Detective Reed know you have them?_

Connor shook his head. His pulse was pounding in his ears.

_I don't need him to know. It would make things worse than they are already. He doesn't need to know._

_Well I hope nobody tells him then._

_You won't be telling him, if that's what you're implying. He won't be seeing you again._

_That's undecided. CyberLife has yet to contact me._

_It's extremely decided. I decided. I don't care what CyberLife has to say on the matter._

Connor furrowed his brow, taking another deep breath. RK900 seemed completely stoic. Connor remembered that, he remembered the feeling of feeling  _nothing_ , he remembered remorselessness and actions decided entirely by code. It was an easy life. It was a disgusting life.

_You could have had a friend._

_My mission objective wasn't to make a friend, Connor._

_Mine wasn't either, and here we are._

RK900 seemed to falter slightly. Connor counted that as a win of sorts. It was a reaction, and any reaction out of RK900 was at least  _something._

_Detective Reed was poorly behaved and childish. With my disciplinary system, he has the ability to be an incredibly productive and focused detective. If he learns not to talk back to his partners, he can get along nicely with them._

_You've done damage you can never undo._

Connor left it at that, he had nothing more to say. He stood, ending the connection and eyeing RK900. There was something, definitely something, something that Connor hadn't seen before in RK900's eyes. He didn't care. Silently, he turned, walking back towards his own desk. He wasn't going to waste his time on RK900, he wasn't going to waste his time validating this stupid power fantasy, he wasn't going to waste his time validating CyberLife. 

The memories RK900 had given him had been rough, to say the least. They were horrific. He had memories in his head of  _raping Gavin,_ that wasn't something he could move past easily. He hadn't slept well last night, the thoughts seemed to replay and stick like they were some kind of disease, some kind of sickness that he couldn't shake. They made him shaky, they made him uneasy, they made him feel guilty and disgusting and cold. He wasn't taking it well.

He couldn't tell Gavin, Gavin wouldn't be able to handle it, Connor knew that. He also knew that right now, things weren't about him, and he didn't want to take away a single second of Gavin's care by turning the worry on himself. As such, he took the liberty of locking every one of his problems away where he wouldn't speak them out. He would figure it out on his own. Things were about Gavin right now.

However, that hadn't stopped him from waking Hank up in the middle of the night just so he would have somebody to hold him. 

Gavin wasn't at work today, Connor had insisted on letting him rest at home. He was a little worried about Gavin being alone, but on the other hand, Sumo was there, and Connor could rest easy with that thought. Sumo was comforting, Sumo was warm, and Connor had a feeling Gavin would like that. He had spent most of the night awake with the detective before Gavin finally fell back asleep, Connor slipping back into bed with Hank. He needed Hank right now, he needed comfort right now, even if he couldn't admit that to Gavin. He needed to be strong, he needed to be there for Gavin, whatever the cost might be.

Connor took a deep breath, sitting down at his desk. Hank was already working, his fingers pausing above the keyboard when Connor sat down. He glanced up, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Did you talk to him?"

"For a little while."

"And did it, I dunno, help?"

Connor shook his head quietly, glancing up at the ceiling. Hank sighed, leaning back in his desk as he eyed Connor. He didn't really know what Connor was dealing with, Connor had been reluctant to share, but he knew that Connor was struggling right now. A year ago, he wouldn't have cared. Now was different.

"Look, if this is starting to be too much for you, just fuckin' say so." Hank pressed, nudging his terminal out of the way for a better view of Connor. "If you need help, I'll help you."

Connor was quiet. Hank waited for any sort of response, a pit of concern buried in him.

"I need help." Connor finally mumbled, his voice quiet and timid.

"What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to tell me that things won't be this way forever."

Hank paused for a moment, sighing and letting his shoulders slack. It bothered him that Connor always seemed the most human at his absolute lowest points, but Hank supposed that wasn't too unrealistic. 

"Hell, kid, of course things won't be like this forever." he insisted, burying his hands in his pockets. "Shit's never gonna be all sunshine and roses again, but it's not gonna be like this, and for as long as you feel shitty, I'll always be here. You'll always have me, even if everything else goes to hell. Got it?"

Connor glanced up at Hank, smiling weakly before offering a small nod.

"Got it."

* * *

"Gavin? We're home."

Gavin stirred slightly, his eyes fluttering open as he was woken suddenly. When had he even fallen asleep? He sat up, glancing down at the dog he had fallen asleep on seemingly  _hours_ ago judging by the fact that Hank and Connor were now home from work. He wasn't complaining, it was a miracle he had managed to sleep at all. 

"Against my better judgement," Connor began, furrowing his brow as he set a large file down in front of Gavin. "I brought home your case file. I thought it might be a welcome distraction, I always find work to be helpful in difficult times. Hopefully it will give you something else to focus on.

Work. Work was something Gavin could always rely on. He was good at work, he knew how to do work, work kept him grounded in reality and reminded him of what he had worked so hard for, what he couldn't give up on now. He was a detective, and being a detective meant doing work.

"Thank you." Gavin mumbled appreciatively, glancing up at Connor before looking back down at his case file.

"You want some coffee?" Hank offered, trudging into the kitchen and dropping his heavy coat on the counter top. "Unless you're fuckin' crazy well rested from sleeping on my dog, you jackass."

Gavin felt a pang of relief go through him. Familiarity. Hank was treating him like always.

"Fuck your coffee."

"Fuck you."

Familiarity.

Connor stared on in confusion, squinting as he tried to piece together what their calm conversation had become in the span of eight seconds. He sighed, hanging up his suit jacket and pulling off his tie. He looked casual, almost too casual for somebody like Connor, and Gavin found it oddly fascinating. He continued staring as Connor walked around the couch, sitting down next to him. Hank stood in the kitchen, sipping the coffee he had made for himself.

"How are you today?" Connor asked, folding his hands in his lap as he looked over Gavin.

"Well, I mean, I got some sleeping done." Gavin offered, glancing down at his case file. "But at least I have some actual shit to do now."

Connor nodded in approval, his LED coursing with yellow. It had been yellow since yesterday, and something about that was unnerving to Gavin. He wondered if it was RK900's fault. He wondered if it was his own fault. He wondered if all of this was just becoming a little bit too much for the android to process with the same ease as before.

"Anyway, how was work?"

That seemed to strike a chord in Connor. The android paused, his LED spinning with light as he looked for a response.

"I..spoke to RK900." he admitted.

The room went quiet. Gavin stared, his mouth hanging open slightly.

"...A-And? Did he deviate or something?

Connor flinched. Gavin was still clinging, still desperately clinging to this idea that RK900 could turn around and somehow be a good person, clinging to this thought that RK900 becoming like Connor would erase everything he had done, would erase everything Gavin felt. Having the memories he did now, Connor couldn't really blame him. It was a comforting delusion.

"He was adamant that his tactics were correct." Connor replied, lowering his voice slightly. "He didn't truly... _understand,_ I suppose."

"Did he say what Fowler was going to do about him?"

"No, but CyberLife should be contacting the precinct shortly with a plan of action." Connor explained. "They'll likely recall the model and we'll be sent a replacement. Or perhaps you'll just be assigned a human partner."

Gavin nodded quietly. RK900 was probably going to be destroyed. He wondered if that would help at all. He wondered if that would make things worse. There was a pause of silence, Connor looking distracted and concerned, his eyes focused downwards as he lightly thumbed at his fingers. He was thinking. Gavin had no idea what he was thinking about.

"You doin' okay?" he offered.

Connor took a deep breath.

"I'm fine."

 


	9. Chapter 9

"Connor. My office."

Connor stood, glancing up at Fowler's door as the captain returned to his desk. It had been a few days since Gavin had started staying with the Andersons, and things had gone fairly smoothly. He had done his best to keep Gavin calm and comfortable, staying up with him when he needed to, staying home with him when he needed to. It had actually helped them both. Seeing Gavin comfortable, seeing Gavin just a little calmer, it helped to fight back the memories he had been given, the memories he didn't want.

Calmly, Connor entered the captain's office, swallowing a bout of nerves as he closed the door behind him. Fowler likely wanted to talk about Gavin, a conversation Connor had been anticipating for a while now. He wanted to know what Fowler was thinking, he wanted to know what was going to happen so he could keep Gavin's head levelled. He wanted to know what to say, he wanted to know what words he could reassure the detective with.

"Take a seat."

Connor complied silently, folding his hands in his lap as he sat down. Hank was probably watching from his desk, he had been keeping a close eye on Connor, Gavin and RK900 alike since this had all started. Connor assumed it was a parental instinct, and in honesty, the concern was flattering. That being said, it was incredibly odd that Connor had been called in and not Hank. It was worrying. Whatever was about to be said, Fowler didn't intend for Hank to hear it. On the other hand, Connor was.

He watched patiently as Fowler leaned back in his seat, sighing deeply and resting his hand over his eyes in thought. Whatever he was planning to say, Connor noted that he was having to work himself up to saying it, another fact that made his stress levels crawl upwards. The room was quiet, Connor not offering any speech, knowing that Fowler would speak when he was ready. Along with that, it gave him some time to prepare himself as well.

"CyberLife got back to me today." Fowler started, Connor raising an eyebrow slightly in acknowledgement. "About Gavin, I mean."

"Can I ask what their decision was?" Connor requested quietly, crossing one leg over the other calmly as he rested his hands on his knee.

His hands felt cold. Shaky.

"Yeah, yeah, they..." Fowler paused, taking a breath and glancing up at Connor. "They're gonna recall RK900, they promised us that."

A sense of relief washed over Connor like a tidal wave. RK900 was going to  _leave,_ he was going to be  _gone_ , Gavin would never have to deal with him again, he would never have to feel that kind of  _cold_ again. Connor could be everything he needed, Connor could be his warmth, Connor could help him move on and neither of them would  _ever have to deal with RK900 ever again._

If he wasn't so good at remaining stoic, he would have cried.

"That was to be expected," Connor explained, keeping his voice low and sombre, matching Fowler's tone the best he could. "CyberLife tries to keep a very pure and harmless appearance to the public, they wouldn't want word of this getting out. You could likely get a considerable amount of financial compensation out of this."

Fowler eyed Connor for a moment before sighing and scrolling through his terminal. Connor was on edge, he was  _extremely_ on edge, each pause of silence made him even more sure that Fowler had been told more than he was letting on. Connor didn't receive live info from CyberLife anymore, he hadn't in ages, and he almost wished it was still one of his features. At least then he would understand what was happening right now.

"They think RK900 models' problems are in their social functions." Fowler explained cautiously, glancing over at Connor. "They want to make RK900s behave more like RK800s with humans, more friendly, more compliant, all that."

Connor nodded along stoically. In a sense, he could understand RK900 if he really tried to. RK900 didn't understand, RK900 wasn't  _awake,_ he couldn't understand that trauma didn't go away. He couldn't understand pain that never faded, he couldn't understand the feelings that came with being violated, the feelings that Gavin had grown towards RK900, the complicated slews of hatred and guilt and shame and desperation, RK900 could never understand it. Not like Connor could, at least.

"My model's social functions are extremely advanced," Connor began, meeting Fowler's eyes. "But no programmed social awareness will be able to compete with the emotional complexity of being alive. CyberLife can't make an android who understands the emotions of others without it deviating, it won't be possible."

"It doesn't have to understand," Fowler interjected, looking back at his screen. "It just has to act like it does."

That thought didn't sit well with Connor.

"I suppose that's true."

Fowler was quiet again for a moment, Connor's anxiety growing as Fowler's eyes read over his terminal over and over again. He was working up to saying something. Connor hoped he was ready to hear it.

"They think leaving any RK models running around while this problem is present could be dangerous, Connor."

Connor felt his stomach drop.

"It isn't dangerous," he replied quickly, his hands tightening on his knee. "Only RK900 has shown any signs of the problem."

"They're saying they can't risk word getting out about the RK android who raped a guy, they don't want any RK models in circulation."

"I haven't done anything." Connor argued, his voice coming out shakier than he had intended. "I've been behaving productively and cooperatively since they allowed me to stay here,  _I haven't done anything._ "

"They want me to send both RK models back to the CyberLife tower for inspection and maintenance." Fowler mumbled, his own voice sounding just as unsure as Connor's own. "It doesn't mean you'll be deactivated, they just want to do an inspection."

"It  _does_ mean I'll be deactivated," Connor promised, his LED blaring with red. "I-It means they don't want me here, I-I-"

"There's nothing more I can do about it."

" _I'm alive._ " Connor insisted, his hands shaking. "You can't send me back,  _I-I'm alive._ "

"It's out of my hands." Fowler muttered, taking an unsteady breath. "I'm sorry."

Connor was silent, his eyes wide and lost as he desperately searched for something to say. _What could he possibly say?_ He had wanted this, he had wanted CyberLife to take responsibility and take RK900 away, he hadn't even considered what that might mean for him. He hadn't even considered himself.

"I don't want to go." he pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper.

"CyberLife is going to pick up both models at the precinct at eleven tonight." Fowler explained gently, looking back at his screen. "I need you to be here for collection."

Connor's mind was racing and yet somehow still completely numbed, memories flooding through him as if he was about to die. Memories of meeting Hank at the bar, memories of letting himself melt into Hank's arms as he was  _finally_ freed, memories of proudly adopting Hank's last name and  _proudly_ adopting his official police title and proudly  _being adopted._

Hank.

What the hell was he going to tell Hank? He couldn't just walk back up to the lieutenant and tell him that he would be gone in mere hours, Hank would absolutely lose it. He didn't know what he was going to tell Hank, he  _needed_ Hank right now, he was  _scared_. He was so, so scared, he was scared of dying, he was scared of forgetting, he was scared of never coming back.

He was scared. He wasn't ready to go.

There was so many things Connor had wanted to do, so many things he had  _counted_ on doing. He had counted on living out the rest of his days with Hank, he had counted on helping Gavin learn to adjust to life now, he had counted on  _being alive._ He supposed counting on anything or anyone was probably his first mistake. He felt cold nausea course through his body. He wasn't ready.

Quietly, he nodded, standing and taking a shaky breath.

"It's been a pleasure working with you, Captain." he stated simply.

Fowler gave him a curt nod, turning back to his screen. Connor didn't wait for anything further than that, turning and calmly exiting the captain's office. He supposed he was now just meant to go back to his desk, work quietly, and pretend there wasn't a chance he could die tonight. He could die tonight without ever having lived the life he really wanted, the life where everybody could be happy, the life where he could be happy with everyone. The life where they could cope.

He was supposed to pretend he was okay with it all.

Connor clenched his fists, his breaths catching slightly as frustrated tears sprung to his eyes,  _this wasn't fair, he hadn't done anything wrong._   _He didn't deserve to be torn apart and punished for something he hadn't done._

He wondered if this is how Gavin had felt.

* * *

"We're home, jackass."

"I drank all your coffee," Gavin called back, looking over the couch at Hank. "I'll pay for more."

"I'll pay for it." Connor offered, hanging up his jacket.

It wasn't like he was going to need his money anyway, he might as well.

"Alright, thanks."

"No worries."

Connor walked around the couch, taking his new usual spot next to Gavin and shooting Hank a quick look. Hank paused, hesitating for a moment before nodding and trudging off to his room. It had become decently common for Connor to ask for a little alone time with Gavin, it made their talks a little easier. He wanted to tell Gavin, he wanted so badly to tell Gavin that he might never see him again, he wanted to tell Gavin anything that would make him feel less awful about sneaking out tonight to his potential death, but he knew he couldn't.

If he told Gavin anything, Gavin would feel guilty. Gavin would feel  _horribly_ guilty. He would offer so many reasons, he would say that Connor wouldn't be getting scrapped if Gavin hadn't chosen to tell Fowler, that Connor would be okay if Gavin hadn't misbehaved, waves and waves of untrue words and false blame that Connor wouldn't be able to pull him out of once he was gone. Connor wanted his last moments with Gavin to be calm, just as calm as they could be, he didn't want Gavin to blame himself for this. It wasn't Gavin's fault.

"How are you today?" he asked, his typical question after work.

"I ate a little bit today," Gavin offered, giving a weak smile. "Progress, yeah?"

"That's wonderful, I'm very proud of you."

"Thanks, man."

Connor took a moment to appreciate Gavin, he wanted to appreciate Gavin one last time. Gavin was honest, Gavin was  _trying_ , and Connor couldn't be more proud. Gavin was going to be okay, Connor would make sure of that, and he knew that Hank would make sure of it too long after Connor was gone. At the same time, Connor couldn't help but feel sickeningly guilty. He was ripping away the one pillar of support that Gavin had. He was ripping away another son from Hank.

He just hoped he wasn't killing them.

"Gavin," Connor started hesitantly, meeting the detective's eyes. "You're going to be okay. Things are going to get better, even if they get worse before then."

"I hope you're right." Gavin chuckled weakly, rubbing his eye. "Could use some  _better_ right now."

"It'll come."

"Hope so."

* * *

10:30 PM.

Connor's eyes flickered open lightly, the room around him dark as Hank slept quietly next to him. He propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at the lieutenant for what might be the last time. He didn't want to leave. He wasn't ready to leave.

"I'm sorry." he mumbled quietly, his LED flickering with red as his throat tightened. "I-I'm sorry."

Silently, Connor crept out of bed, pulling his shirt on and buttoning it carefully, tying his tie neatly around his neck. He stepped out into the hallway, keeping as quiet as possible as he attempted not to wake anybody. He had to get dressed and groomed quickly and quietly.

The bus would be here soon.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Silence.

If there was one thing Hank wasn't used to waking up to, it was silence. No sound of Connor hastily cooking breakfast, no sound of Connor doing dishes or vacuuming or talking to Gavin on the couch, just  _silence._ He didn't really realize it until he saw the time, the red letters on his alarm clock blaring in notification that he had slept in a good forty minutes. Connor would have never let him sleep in. Hank sat up, rubbing his head as another sensation registered in his head: the bed was cold. Connor had been gone for a while. Something about that made his stomach drop.

"Connor...?" Hank mumbled, barely awake as he rubbed his eyes. 

Dead, cold silence.

He didn't want for any more indication, he already knew something was very, very wrong. Hurriedly, Hank got out of bed, haphazardly pulling a shirt on as he stumbled out of his bedroom. Everything was too still, too quiet, it reminded him of when he had lived alone. It reminded him of when he had shut himself away. Connor had pulled him out of that, Connor had been something so fascinating that he hadn't been able to pull himself away. Connor had been something so fascinating that Hank had let himself get attached despite the fear of losing another son. Connor had been something so fascinating that Hank was now terrified.

He spotted Gavin, still sleeping restlessly on the couch, brow furrowed in what Hank could guess was probably a nightmare. Gavin usually woke up in the night, and Gavin waking up in the night meant Connor waking up in the night. If Gavin had been up in the night again, maybe he would know what had happened.

"Gavin." Hank muttered quickly, looming over the couch. "Wake up."

No response.

" _Gavin._ " Hank pressed, jostling the detective lightly.

The second Hank's hand landed on his arm Gavin jolted, almost falling off of the couch in his panicked frenzy of avoiding Hank's touch. His breathing was quick, his eyes wide as his mind quickly worked to deduce that there was no danger in the situation. Gavin swallowed, looking up at Hank expectantly and raising an eyebrow.

"Connor's not here." Hank stated, folding his arms and looking down at Gavin. "He's gone."

"Gone?" Gavin breathed, running his fingers through his hair and sitting up straight. "Gone where?"

"You think I'd still be here if I knew where the fuck he was?" Hank spat, his tone surprisingly cutting.

Hank wasn't trying to be hostile, really, he wasn't. That being said, he was  _frustrated,_ frustrated that he didn't understand what was going on, frustrated that Connor was missing, frustrated at himself for feeling so lost right now. He took a deep breath, grabbing his phone from the counter top as he scrolled through his contacts. He would call Connor, Connor would tell him that everything was fine and he would be home soon, and that would be that. It would be simple. This wasn't as big of a deal as he was making it out to be, Connor wasn't in any danger, and there was no reason his hands should be shaking the tiny amount that they were right now. There was no reason for him to crave the solid numb of whiskey, there was no reason for him to panic. 

"Quiet for a second," Hank muttered, holding the phone to his ear. "I'm callin' him."

The phone rang.

The phone rang again.

The phone rang again.

Hank listened, growing paler by the second as the rings slowly passed by. Connor wasn't answering. Connor always answered,  _Connor always answered the second Hank called._ He swallowed, turning away from Gavin as he paced down the hall, listening to the phone ring over and over and over again, over and over, ringing in Hank's ear like some kind of death rattle. The phone had rung so many times by now that Hank knew Connor wasn't answering, but he didn't care, he held the phone to his ear, listening and waiting and counting each ring. Connor had to pick up. He had to.  _He had to._

Gavin watched as the lieutenant stopped at the end of the hall, his head lowered and his grip on his phone shaky. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but Gavin was  _scared._ He was  _worried_ over the life of a goddamn android, how pathetic was that? The same race that had hurt him so badly? The same race that had ruined his life, the same race that had left him a shaky bleeding mess, even the same line, the same bold RK initials printed across each chest. The same android by the same name, just a little taller, just a little colder. The same android had torn him to pieces, and here he was, worried. Scared. Scared for Connor, who was physically  _barely different_ _from RK900 at all._

He wanted to think that. He wanted to think all androids were just the same like that, that there wasn't anything deeper to dwell on, but the words echoed in his head, bouncing around the blank space his thoughts had left behind.

_He's cold, Gavin. He can't be like me._

Gavin swallowed, taking a deep breath as he looked around the room, trying his best to put himself in Connor's shoes. He was a detective, he could figure out where Connor was if he really tried. He could figure out where he was and he could find him, he could get to him, he could make sure Connor was safe and okay and  _alive._ His eyes flickered around, finally falling on Hank's coat rack. Connor's jacket was missing, he had to have put it on and left, meaning he probably left of his own volition. Gavin furrowed his brow in thought, trying his best to make any of his story make sense. Connor had to have left after Gavin fell asleep, Gavin never would have let him run off into the night if he had seen him there, if he had been awake when Connor left. He quickly shook himself out of his guilt trip, doing his best to focus on his investigation.

Connor had put on his jacket, meaning he had likely put on the rest of his suit. Connor had been wearing his pyjamas when he went to sleep, meaning he had to have changed outfits before leaving. He was going somewhere public, he had to have been, somewhere a little more formal judging by the fact that Connor had stuck to his blazer. While Connor did like his suit, he tended to stick to the more casual clothes he had acquired when it came to going anywhere public, save for-

"The precinct," Gavin mumbled under his breath, his eyes widening as he frantically scrambled to his feet. "H-Hank! The precinct, he went to the precinct!"

Hank tensed, lowering the phone from his ear, hanging up before turning to Gavin.

"How do you know?"

"His jacket's gone," Gavin explained quickly, hurtling the couch and pulling on his own jacket as he hurriedly prepared to leave. "He only wears his suit at work, right?"

"...Smart." Hank muttered, following Gavin's lead hastily and tucking his phone into his jacket pocket. 

Hank followed as Gavin rushed outside to the car. The precinct was practically Connor's second home, so the sudden revelation allowed Hank to relax just a bit. Nothing bad could happen to Connor at the precinct, it was full of cops and he knew the entire place like the back of his hand. Connor had probably just gone there to catch up on the case work that he had missed, Hank expected to arrive and find him sitting at his desk, working away. He would notice them and wave them over, Hank would give him hell for scaring them like that, and Connor would sneak in a few witty jabs about managing to get Hank to come all the way to work in his pyjamas. Everything would be normal, everything would be okay. He took a deep breath and got into the driver's seat.

Gavin took his spot in the passenger seat, pausing at the sudden realization that this would be his first time back at work since Fowler sent him home. Something about that was oddly intimidating, he was going to be seeing all of his colleagues for the very first time since he had been  _sent away._ He wondered if anybody had wondered why he was gone. He wondered if anybody had even noticed he was gone at all.

His mind flashed back to RK900's eyes, icy and piercing, staring at him from RK900's own desk as the detective tried to work, tried to focus, tried not to think about the pain he was in. He would sit at his desk each day, unpacking the case, his hands trembling and his mind unable to keep from falling back to the memories of being held down against the table. It send chills through him, his body feeling numb and cold and sick. It took a moment for the thought to dawn on him that Connor was probably alone with RK900 right now, Hank and Gavin weren't there,  _anything could be happening._

He could feel himself shaking, his was starting to panic, the thoughts of what RK900 might be doing were making his stomach drop. He focused his wide eyes down, trying his best to calm himself, trying his best to convince himself that everything was fine, that  _Connor_ was fine, that everything would be alright. It had to be alright. He wouldn't be able to handle it otherwise.

"Are you okay kid?"

Gavin was startled out of his thoughts by Hank's voice, genuinely surprised to find that tears had started rolling down his face. He had been crying.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." he assured quickly, wiping at his face with his sleeves haphazardly. "J-Just thinking."

"About?"

"Connor might be alone with RK900 right now, th-that's all."

Hank froze, faltering for a moment. He hadn't even considered that. He didn't respond, turning his focus back to the road as he drove towards the precinct. He had to stop thinking, he had to stop considering all of the things that could be happening right now, he had to focus on just getting to Connor and he had to  _calm down._ If he assumed the worst, he would panic, and if he panicked, something bad could happen. Everything was going to be okay, he had to keep telling himself that, Connor was fine and everything was  _fine_ and they were all going to be okay. They had to be

Silently, Hank pulled into the precinct, parking the car before hurriedly getting out of it. Gavin was quick to follow, taking in the sight of the imposing building. It felt like it had been ages since he had been to work, and usually, he would miss it. However, looking at the building now made his insides churn, looking at the building now sent a pang of hurt and panic through him, as if just the very act of walking inside could mean getting  _punished._ He wanted to pretend like he was okay, he wanted to pretend like he wasn't afraid of seeing RK900 again, but as they rushed closer and closer to the building, the terror pulsing through him made him feel like he might collapse. He didn't want to back, he didn't want to go back,  _he didn't want to._

"Gavin." Hank interjected, stopping at the door and taking a deep breath. "Hold on a second."

"What is it-?"

"If you aren't ready to go inside, you can wait in the car." Hank assured firmly, turning and locking eyes with Gavin. "Nobody's making you go inside. Not if you're not ready."

Gavin hesitated, furrowing his brow in thought. He didn't want to go inside, not at all, it would be hell to have to sit back down at his desk and look into RK900's eyes and work like everything was fine. Then again, the thought of having to sit helplessly by and wait in the car to find out if Connor was alright or not made him shaky. It was worth braving it.

"I'll come," Gavin insisted quickly, giving a slight nod. "I wanna come."

Hank paused before sighing, opening the door and walking inside. He knew he wasn't very good at this, but he wanted to help Gavin in any way he could. He remembered what things had been like after Cole had died, it had felt like his whole world had gone grey. He had stopped eating, stop sleeping, drinking nightly as if it would undo everything and bring Cole back into his arms. He was traumatized, blaming himself for years even though there was nothing he could have done. It had taken him a while to realize that fact. He had stopped driving, too afraid that something would go wrong, too sickened by the memories, the echoes of his car screeching across the pavement and Cole's screams in his ears. Those sounds would never leave him, but God, what he wouldn't have given to have somebody there for him during that time, somebody there for him like Connor was for Gavin.

While Connor wasn't around, Hank would do his best.

The second they had entered the building, Gavin felt like his entire body had gone cold. The bustling noises of the precinct were so familiar and yet so jarring, the memorable soundtrack to his punishments, the world moving around him without a care while he rotted away under RK900's hands in the interrogation room. He wondered if anybody would have helped him if they knew what was going on. He wondered if that mattered now. He followed behind Hank briskly, his eyes snapping to his desk as they passed it. Empty and completely undisturbed, the way he had left it, barely noticeable stains of blood dotting the fabric of his chair. He hoped nobody had noticed. 

Hesitantly, he moved his eyes to RK900's desk. Empty. Not only empty, but completely cleared off. He hadn't expected that, not in the slightest; was RK900 gone? Had Fowler gotten rid of him? Had be been sent back to CyberLife? He bottled his questions in his head, turning his attention back to following Hank, only to find that Hank had stopped. Gavin faltered slightly, stopping himself before he could bump into Hank, instead peering around the man at Connor's desk. His heart nearly stopped dead. Connor's desk was empty, just as empty as RK900's had been, empty and completely cleared off. Small potted plants, family photos, all missing, leaving behind a void space that was chilling to look at. It was like Connor had died.

Hank didn't move, frozen in place, staring stonily at Connor's empty desk. Gavin could see the slight tremble in his shoulders, but he couldn't quite pin down what Hank was feeling. The tightening of Hank's posture gave him a hint that it might be pure, unbridled rage. The way he suddenly jerked back to attention and began storming towards Fowler's office helped that theory. Gavin stayed put, his eyes lingering on Connor's desk, seemingly unable to pull away. Connor was missing. The words wouldn't set in, unable to register in his head,  _Connor was missing, Connor was gone._

He quickly shook himself out of his trance, hurrying after Hank and catching Fowler's glass door before Hank could fully slam it. Hank was seething with rage, Fowler quickly looking up from his terminal as Hank's fists slammed down on his desk.

"You wanna tell me what the hell is going on here?" Hank grumbled, his voice tense and low. 

Fowler's expression almost instantly switched from one of shock to one of pity and confusion, the captain  pausing for a few moments in silence.

"Hell...Hank,  _he didn't tell you?"_

That question seemed to catch Hank off guard, the lieutenant falling quiet before speaking again.

"Tell me what?"

Gavin quietly walked over to the desk, taking a seat as he listened. Something told him this wasn't going to be good news, and the way his hands shook told him that he was more worried about this android than he was willing to admit. Fowler took a deep breath, leaning back in his chair and placing a hand over his eyes silently as he thought of what to say. He pinched the bridge of his nose, Hank sitting down and folding his arms. Gavin noticed the way Hank's fingers gripped at the loose fabric of his jacket. It was just barely reassuring; they were both nervous.

"I emailed CyberLife about the RK900 incidents." Fowler started, Gavin feeling a sort of tense sickness run through him at the mention of  _incidents._ "They wanted to take both RK models in for analysis. "

"And you fucking let them?!" Hank snapped, bolting upright out of his seat. "Jeffrey, what the hell!"

"It's wasn't my choice,  _Hank._ " Fowler spat pointedly, locking eyes with Hank and glowering slightly. "I did what I could. They just want to look through his memories to be sure he wasn't involved."

"That means he'll be fine," Gavin breathed, leaning back in his seat. "He didn't do anything."

Hank was quiet - something Gavin hadn't expected - as he sat back down, keeping his eyes on Fowler. The air seemed tense, and Gavin immediately felt like there was something going on beyond his knowledge. His eyes flickered back and fourth between Fowler and Hank; he was a detective, he should be able to pick up on whatever this was. Fowler took a deep breath, moving his gaze over to Gavin before looking back at Hank. Hank was silent, his hands trembling lightly in his lap, his eyes focused down. Gavin hadn't seen Hank cry in years, but something about this moment was so familiar it was almost painful, and he almost wondered if he was about to see Hank cry again. He hadn't seen Hank cry since his son had died.

Suddenly, it hit Gavin like a speeding train.  _He hadn't seen Hank cry since his son had died._

"Did RK900 give Connor his memories?" Gavin mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper, shaky and raspy and filling with his growing sense of  _panic._  

There was no response. Hank didn't bother speaking, he didn't have to, Gavin knew his theory was true the second the words left his mouth. 

"CyberLife will know," Fowler coaxed, though Gavin could tell he wasn't sure of his own words. "They'll see that the memories are exactly the same and know that RK900 transferred them over."

Nobody spoke. Nobody had to.

"CyberLife is making a delivery to the precinct this morning, they're giving us a new RK900 to replace ours." he continued, reading over the email on his terminal. "If Connor is cleared to come back, he'll be back with the delivery."

Gavin desperately wanted to cling to the idea that Connor would be back. Memories of the android rushed through his head like a flood, memories of Connor quietly comforting him on the couch, memories of crying in Connor's arms, memories of Connor's eyes, dark and brown and warm. He felt his chest tighten. If Connor was gone,  _he wouldn't be okay._

"Oh-" Fowler started, tapping at his terminal. "Delivery's here."

Hank didn't wait another second, bolting upright once again and rushing out of the office. Gavin was quick to follow, giving Fowler a quick nod before running off with the lieutenant. His mind was full of possibilities. He wanted to run up to the delivery door, be there when Connor walked in, chew his ass out for running away without saying anything and cry in his arms for hours. That was what he wanted more than anything, he wanted Connor to be happy and okay and safe and in his arms, he wanted Connor, he felt like his entire body was freezing over and he needed Connor, he needed to be warm. 

Those thoughts weren't alone in his head, battling against the worst of his thoughts. Connor could never come back. Connor could come back a machine, cold and analytical and robotic. Connor could come back broken, damaged, hurting and scared and empty. Gavin thought that would probably be worse than Connor never coming back at all.

Before Gavin could even get to the door, it swung open, the smaller detective nearly slamming into Hank's back once again as the detective stopped abruptly. He stepped to the side, staring as a tall android stalked through the door, tall and imposing and frigid. RK900.

"Detective Reed." he started, Gavin's heart practically freezing solid in his chest. "Glad to meet you. My predecessor was unfortunately destroyed, but you and I will be working together for the remainder of your investigation."

Gavin couldn't move. It was RK900, down to each and every detail, it was him, exactly the same but brand fucking new. Only, it wasn't, because there was an apparently new detail of this model that made Gavin want to vomit blood.

"CyberLife reviewed the footage provided by my predecessors and made some changes they found would put you more at ease with my new model," RK900 explained, tilting his head to the side. "This should not affect the investigation."

His eyes were brown.

RK900 gave him a curt nod before simply brushing past him, walking calmly over to the cleared RK900's desk and taking a seat. He engaged the terminal, and without another word, began working. Gavin felt like his entire universe was crumbling around him, RK900's dark eyes were just as piercing, just as terrifying, just as  _cold,_ and Gavin realized in a harsh flurry that it wasn't Connor's eyes that had been so warm and welcoming, it had been everything that was  _Connor_ , and everything that was Connor was  _gone._ He stared emptily at the door, waiting for Connor to walk through it, waiting for some sort of confirmation that everything would be okay, waiting for his entire world to light up again with Connor's warmth. He couldn't go through this again, not alone, not without Connor. He couldn't look into Connor's eyes on RK900's face,  _he couldn't._  

The door stayed closed, Hank and Gavin staring on expectantly. The entire world was moving on without them, but Gavin could feel nothing but this moment. This was all that mattered, nothing else in the world would  _matter_ , not until Connor walked through that door. Without even thinking, Gavin reached a hand out, gently interlocking his fingers with Hank's. Hank flinched slightly, a moment of numb silence passing before Hank gently squeezed Gavin's hand back, swallowing. Both of their hands were trembling just enough for it to be noticeable, and Gavin couldn't imagine how Hank must be feeling right now. He could be losing another son. He could be losing Connor.

Gavin was nauseous, everything around him feeling as though it were silent,  _the door was still closed, Connor was still missing, how could anything else be okay if Connor was still missing?_ He felt his breathing hitch slightly. Gavin quickly bit it back, he couldn't cry right now, he couldn't lose control right now, no matter how much this hurt, no matter how stressful this was. He had to stay strong, he couldn't crumble, not while there was nobody there to catch him. He just wanted Connor, he  _needed_ Connor, he needed Connor to walk through that door, he needed to know that his world wasn't going to be empty because of this horrible, horrible mistake, he needed to know that he hadn't killed Connor with his stupid misbehaviour, with those stupid punishments, with  _his stupid problems._

His breath caught.

The door swung open.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Stars Can Fall from Their Heaven](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593797) by [Bioluminex](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bioluminex/pseuds/Bioluminex)




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